Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tappa, Jan 19, 2011.

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  1. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    bin feeling insanely edgey and suicidal, tryin not to sh for around 36hrs straight. tiring lol. cant take it anymore, need tht release tht feeling. i have work in a bit (work in a cafe) so easy access to razor sharp knives. Is a better to self harm at home or to do it at work? (it wud b easy to make it look like an accident)
  2. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    u wont b encouragin me jus askin wat is logically betteR?
  3. painful

    painful Well-Known Member

    how about not hurting yourself?
  4. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    at work do you feel less like self-harming? being around people?
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Please don't harm yourself.. All you end up with is a bunch of scars..SH doesn't settle anything.. Do you have a therapist?? They can help..
  6. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Tappa, your best move would be to go to the doctors and explain how you feel. Don't elaborate on your plan at the cafe - get ourself signed off work for the interim period. Maybe, if you feel so bad, its well worth taking some medication also.

    Get some benefit advice, you can get enough to live on but maybe working whilst you have this stress is not the best way to get out of this particular period.

    Also, consider some regular exercise and get some daylight each day, even if its a walk to the library or shops or whatever places you might go to.

    Good luck and consider my advice and that of others.
  7. Please don't do it.. Please arrange to see a psychiatrist.. Do something and make yourself forget about hurting yourself.. How about go for some ball games, like playing tennis or maybe running..

    What's that problem which makes you suicidal and want to hurt yourself..?

    Take care..:hugtackles::hugtackles:
  8. flyfairy

    flyfairy Member

    Personally I think you wouldn't get the 'satisfaction' from doing it at work.. Will you really get those few moments alone to feel the effects of it?

    Do you feel you can wait until after work to do it? I'm not saying do or dont do it, but maybe if you can postpone it you might get through without sh this time?

    I know it sounds funny but sometimes hurting things that I own, like stabbing my mattress helps...
  9. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    Sorry guys i did sh today, was at work. and flyfairy u were right i cudnt get the satifaction cus it cudnt b as deep as i wanted it (due to rushing and aking it look accidental) and i cudnt look at it afterwards cus it had to b covered up.
    My job finishes in april so cant reli quit now, and they reli lovely ppl dnt wana let em down, or my parents for tht matter. and all my docs and tht say tht cus i do go to work im doin ok cus its an achievement.
    I was on meds but nothin worked, they didnt even register.
    i cant reli say wats shit. everythin. my depression mainly comes from a self loathing thing. i have always bin extremely priviledged in life wiv gd health, fam, friends, school and watever.
    im jus ungrateful and cant appreicate nor make the most of wat i have. jus dnt want it.
    felt like this solidly since last sept (my single only suicide attempt gt stopped ever since bin in tht same mind-set. jus existing nw for the sake of others. which as i sure many ppl can agree is shit)
    jus cant take it wana scream and shout and do crazy mental bad stuff but cnt cus gt the guilt of 'hurting fam and friends'
    how come the ppl u love most, effectively hurt u most, by keepin u around against ur will?
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