advise: sorry its a lame question

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anonymousihs, Aug 21, 2012.

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  1. anonymousihs

    anonymousihs Active Member

    one of my frenemies invited me for a party but i don't want to go to her place because there will be the guy who's responsible for why i'm here in this forum. will it be weird if i just stop seeing her and hanging out with her since she's friends with that guy? i really don't want to, but then i'm not so good at being politically correct so i don't know if it'll be alright if i let her realize i don't want to see her again. also i'm a big avoider so i won't tell her i don't want to because telling her would mean confrontation about things i don't want to talk about. sorry its such a silly question. but any advise would help.
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Honey, I would try and be straight up with her - it would do your confidence good. You need to take care of yourself and your feelings in this situation and its an opportunity to take a stand and not to descend to the level of "people-pleasing" for fear of 1) what they might think of you 2) fear of any confrontation.

    Confrontations are, unhappily, a fact of life and we need situations like this in order to flex our muscles so we know how best to deal with them. always being straight up, done with a gentle spirit, is best. If your frenemy decides to take offence and wants nothing more to do with you, then you will have achieved the ..... "i don't want to see her again". But best not to anticipate her response, just say straight up how you feel.

    Hope that might have been helpful honey, good luck with it :)
  3. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    It may just be me being grumpy, but I figure nobody is responsible for me being here but me. Oh, things people do may trigger behaviors - bad or good - but it's me doing it. I refuse to concede that much control to anybody.
    Dealing with those we pretend (either to ourselves or others) are friends is just a matter of acting a role. Pick the role you want and figure out what Meryl Streep would do.
    Just don't blame her or the guy for what you decide to do.
  4. anonymousihs

    anonymousihs Active Member

    thanks for replying. i'll try being straight with her though i'm pretty sure all she's going to say is 'dude chill'. lol
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