So its currently 7:46am, about an hour and a half ago the phone rang and straight away I knew what it was... Mum was dead. She's had cancer for about 4 years, at first just lung but then it was also in her liver and her bowels and her arm and shoulder. She was in such a state we all just wanted it to end because she was in constant pain, but now its happened I can't believe it... I'm 16 and without a mum I keep thinking about things like christmas and birthdays, and when I get married, when I have my first kid. There's so much going on right now, I have depression and anxiety problems that I've just been given medication for but dad doesn't know, there's just so much going on, don't know how I'm going to cope for much longer, why couldn't it have been me that died.