i really need some advice especially from those of you whose parents have divorced. i have just filed for divorce after an abusive 19 years of marrige. my kids are aged 17, 15, 14, and 12. they are devestated and even though i was the victim they are blaming me for not being able to make everything ok. they wont come out of their rooms and dont want to eat or talk. how can i help them. should i get in a professional councellor for them, they have witnessed so much fighting, yelling and abuse, i feel i am really letting them down as i am so caught up in my own problems to be there for them, i am only about 70% there for them. what goes through a kids head when they hear they hear their parents are divorcing.