I am sure that many of you can relate to what I experience day to day... I find it really difficult to be around people, it is so very overwhelming and takes its toll on my energy very deeply... I can hardly concentrate when around others, as the business of everything collides in my brain making it hard to focus on any one thing, I feel like a loser, I feel like death is the only answer... yet I am so very scared to pursue my desire for death, so many unanswered questions, so many things I have not experienced, but dont even know if I have the capacity to experience them, the thought of death plagues my every turn, always a nagging feeling/thought dwelling within my mind... I dont know if I hate people, or if I just hate myself so much that it just pours over to my perception of others... I dont know if I want help, I dont know how to be helped..... and on and on..