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Affliction of lonliness

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SelfMadePrison, Jun 23, 2008.

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  1. SelfMadePrison

    SelfMadePrison Banned Member

    I am sure that many of you can relate to what I experience day to day... I find it really difficult to be around people, it is so very overwhelming and takes its toll on my energy very deeply... I can hardly concentrate when around others, as the business of everything collides in my brain making it hard to focus on any one thing, I feel like a loser, I feel like death is the only answer... yet I am so very scared to pursue my desire for death, so many unanswered questions, so many things I have not experienced, but dont even know if I have the capacity to experience them, the thought of death plagues my every turn, always a nagging feeling/thought dwelling within my mind... I dont know if I hate people, or if I just hate myself so much that it just pours over to my perception of others... I dont know if I want help, I dont know how to be helped..... and on and on..
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I know exactlly how you feel. I have augoriphobia, and socialphobia. I stay in my bedroom so I don't have to have that interaction. I go up to my brothers house on the weekends. They have people over all the time. My brother always introduces us and I feel I am being put under the spot light. I stay out as long as I dare, then it's off to the bedroom where I can do my coping skills to calm down. You know it is kind of funny because a year ago I wouldn't leave my bedroom . Some of my brothers friends think I am stuck up. That is not the case, I just feel so stupid not noing what to say.My therapist tells me that I have stagnated for so long that it is understandible that I wouldn't feel safe because I can control what I want to tell her. Don't feel all down on yourself. There is hope through therapy. I hope you talk to someone so you can get all those feelings out. Myself I have come to terms with my isolating. It has been a habit of mine for so long That I enjoy the solitude. that is not a rash decision. I have been talking to my self and to my therapist And she tells me what ever makes you feel good about yourself...:chopper:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    just read this and boy do i relate hun hope you are ok hugs
  4. Count Floyd

    Count Floyd Well-Known Member

    Me too, man. I hate being around people. I hate being alone too, but the more I'm around people, the more I feel like everyone hates me. It's just gotten worse ovre the last few years. Every little thing bugs me now. And every decision I've made has been the wrong one in my entire life. There isn't a day that goes by where the phrase "I want to die so bad" doesn't cross my mind a few times. I think I'm pretty close. There is no cure for what I have. I know exactly how you feel. So you're not alone in that respect.
  5. RenoBill

    RenoBill Active Member

    I can certainly relate. I've always been a bit of a loner. I think it's just inborn, hardwired. I had an uncle who was that way, and I can see the same traits in most of the other relatives on my dad's side, including my dad. I've tried over the years to get involved in groups, but just can't fit in. I can't stand smalltalk. I can't come up with spontaneous answers to everything. That comes from being a strong introvert. I've become quite lonely as a result, especially since retiring. I can't carry on like this much longer. Nothing seems to interest me any more. I've done therapy, helped a little, but not much. I won't do psychiatric medications. They just numb the feelings, can't change my thinking or my personality. So, the end is near. I sympathize and empathize with those feeling the same way. It appears there's many of us.
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