Afraid, Lonely and Don't Know What To Do

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by texaskitty, Dec 1, 2010.

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  1. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Friend and Antiquities Friend Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I don't post much as I'm always in chat. Its sad really, I spend my entire waking hours in chat. I used to work. Worked all my life. I'm 51 now and in March will have been on Disability for 2 years. Sitting in this chair. I'm just a useless lump of humanity.

    So sad that my life is like this but I haven't the strength to change it. I've been sick and in pain for months and have no insurance so all the doctors and tests come out of my savings. I'm so scared that I will become destitute because my disability isn't enough to live on.

    I await test results. Could be cancer, dunno. But there are sure to be more expensive tests after that. Its so sad, when I went to get cat scan everyone had someone with them except me. I'm so alone.

    Makes me wonder why I go on. Old, no family, only 1 real IRL friend, no one to really be there to help.

    Sometimes its days before I take a bath, and I never get dressed except for when I have to go to the store or a doc. House is a mess. Bills to be paid.

    I am so afraid and lonely and wonder why I keep on.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You keep going because you are loved and cared about..count me in on the list of great mean a lot to me...please remember that...big hugs and a full heart, J
  3. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    You keep on for the benefit of helping others.

    You may not have taken count, but I see the lives you help each day, by being in chat.

    Remember them, and remember that you too will have someone by your side. Someone real, very soon, providing he is able to get his financial act together soon.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Is there no community supports that can help you TK Church volunteers that can take you to your test to be there with you when doctor gives you result. Know i am here okay if you ever need to talk I hope the cancer results come back negative Here you can apply for government money early CPP if you canprove you are to ill to work. Is there anything like that where you are. You are not alone we are here and we care okay. keep posting now and letting us know how you are doing. Reach out to the community programs okay see if they do have things to offer you so you are not so islolated take care TK please pm me anytime you need to.
  5. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    oh, my goose goose, you are not completely alone. I think of you many times every single day. you've kept us here.

    we know about the bathing and dressing and leaving thing, we do the same thing. it's ok. be stinky in your pj's. just keep being.

    i don't know what irl is, but i would love to be a 'real' friend with you. i want one, too, and i think of you all day.

    only you would get a blanket with laksmi woven in it. you love so much that there is no way i cannot share her with you.

    i've never met anybody who loves so much, so freely, and just takes us all in.

    i don't know what the tests will say or how the money will work out. i kick and scream and plead with god all the time, but i don't know if he listens. whatever happens, i love you. soooo much.

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :wub: :wub: :duck: :duck:
  6. houseofcards

    houseofcards Well-Known Member

    Texas - I swear, every day I see you in chat and let me tell you: You are not a useless lump of humanity. Having you say hi to me every day, although just a tiny thing, really makes me happy and probably everybody else when they come in happy too. Also, I know how irritating tests are - I had to get 12 bloodtests done to first see what my issue was, then they ignored it after they all came back clear, still not doing good, now 1 or so years later they want an MRI scan on me to rule out any organic factors like tumors/cancer/blood cloots.. pain in the :censored:! once you figure out what's wrong, i cross my fingers that you get it worked out. There are sooo many places out there that help out those that can't afford their bills, its all about calling churches/non-profits and getting references from them. If you lived close enough to me i'd help you out. You mean SO much to me, you have nooo idea. Just hold onto the ride for as long as you can; We refuse to let you jump off too early. You WILL get better. Please please please please don't give up. :hugtackles:
  7. Arthur

    Arthur Account Closed

    Hey Angie!

    Hang on in there, the chat wouldn't be te same without you you're amazing and you're always there to help.
    You have such a big heart Angie, i want you to know i'm here for you if you need someone to talk to.

    Love you!
  8. carley5

    carley5 Banned Member

  9. BEE ENN

    BEE ENN Active Member

    Hit the nail on the head there, couldn't have said better myself. You are awesome and have helped me out loads... I wish I could thank you enough for what you have helped me through
  10. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you sound alot like me. it is very sad.
  11. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Hello Texas Kitty!

    On a practical note, have you looked into medicaid? If you are getting a disability check, you should qualify, I think.
  12. thom99

    thom99 Member

    Hey texas, you're one of the ones that kept me going in my desperate time of need. I cannot thank you enough for that!!! You are a great person and you brighten up the days of many many people in the chat rooms.

    Take care xx
  13. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    youre a great person, angie
  14. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    You are such an awesome person and have the most wonderful heart. You keep going because you know deep down, we all care about you. You are amazing

    I pray that you are not really ill. Take care hun

    <3 :hug: xx
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