I'm so afraid my life is meaningless and purposeless. I've been doing reassuring on the subject but I don't know. The most depressing thing is when I hear people say that the meaning of life is survival and propagate your genes, I don't even want kids! Others say to live life to the fullest and just experiment with sex, drugs, and other sensory pleasure. I just don't know. Right now my goals are to get a job to support myself, but my real goals are to progress as a human, I want to practice compassion, love to my fellow man, constent peace of mind, improve myself morally, and be joyful - free of anxiety. Also im not talking about the noble peace prize ether. I have an idea of honor based on love and compassion, too where i can do this in my everyday life. Theres also many people bring there darkness into the world, i would like to bring some light into it, I'm not a perfect. Man, but i think am a good one. I won't get rich over this, but its something I want to do. But I'm afraid that maybe I'm wrong and my life is just a big wast of time.