Afraid of making the same mistakes

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ctunnel, Oct 17, 2011.

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  1. ctunnel

    ctunnel Member

    My wife told me this morning that I'd hurt her feelings last night without even realizing it and then cascaded into things I'm doing wrong, making her feel like she's doing more work in the relationship, having to be prodded into doing things that make her feel attractive or loved. I responded by not responding, which she took offense to.

    I was married before and this sounded very much like the conversations I had with my first wife, and a relationship in between my two marriages ended with her taking offense to me not having anything to say because I didn't want to make things worse.

    We're in serious financial trouble with no thought as to what we'll do if some unexpected expense comes up. I am unemployed with no close friends left. We've estranged ourselves from our parents. The last time I felt this close to doing something irrevocable I went to my parents but my wife has scolded me for "telling them too much about our business."

    The thoughts of doing something drastic are coming with the uncontrollable crying, and I have to fight them away.
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I don't know what country you are in, but you might be able to get some practical assistance with your financial issues. also some healthcare

    if you can say more about where you are at, we might be able to help connecting you to some resources

    marriage counseling would probably be a good idea. if you can't get marriage counseling, then maybe getting a book about marriage issues might help

    it sounds like both of you could communicate with each other much better

    the most important thing though is to take care of your own health and wellbeing.

    getting some treatment might also put you in a much better position to work out things with your marriage

    I hope that this can all work out!
  3. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    The thing about not saying anything or responding by not responding is it makes you look like you don't care. people don't like it when they think someone doesn't care, especially wives (or girlfriends).
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