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Afraid of my thougts...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lostintranslation, Jan 11, 2011.

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  1. Hi everyone

    It's my first thread in the forum.
    I'm really afraid of some thougts I'm having in the last time.
    The idea of suicide is maturing inside me, but in way that I never felt before.
    I see it like the only solution for me. The more I think about it, the more I get sure that this is the solution.

    I always was kind of depressive, without self-esteem, few friends etc.
    But in the last three years my life has turned 180°.
    I lost a loved relative, my studies went and keep going wrong, financial problems, etc.

    The only reason that still keeps me moving forth, is the fact that I don't wanna hurt the feelings of people that I love. On the other hand I also know that my depressive moods are a burden for them too.

    I'm losing my strength. Every morning I become down, when I think that I have to go out to work. I have no self esteem anymore. I feel like a social zero. I'm tired of felling like piece of shit.

    Three days ago, when I was waking up, the very very first thougth that came in my mind was that I should kill myself. I don't know if somebody here has alredy had some experience like that. It is terrible!!! the only thing I could do was cry and cry.

    Now I'm feelling like I know that my end is the suicide and that it is getting each day closer to me. The only question is how long will I cope with it.

    Sorry for my englisch...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You do not have to face this depression the thoughts on your own YOu need to talk to your doctor okay who will give you some medication to help decrease those thoughts the sadness inside you. Also ask about therapy as well YOu do not want to harm your loved ones by leaving You will cause so much more damage to them they will have sadness for ever. Please reach out for some help okay Call crisis line let them know how suicidal you are they will get you some help as well. No need to suffer alone not when there is help out there for you hugs
  3. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member


    Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time, you don't have to fight this hard and terrible depression alone, do you have a shrink?

    Suicidal thoughts are awful many people on the board will be able to relate to you, and also understand you. Please speak to your GP about these feeling so they can help, how would that feel? Try your best to keep your mind of it, maybe do something you enjoy?

    You get help with money help there re many ads that caan help, how would that feel? **hug** :hug:
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I agree with the advice of getting treatment

    maybe thinking about some things that you are grateful for will help you feel better. it might be a short list, but bringing these things to mind can help.

    sorry that you are feeling so bad, and I hope that you feel better soon!
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