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Afraid of my work

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foreverforgotten

Well-Known Member
#1
Sorry in advance for this big long wall of text.

I just got this job 2 weeks ago after being
Unemployed for a year and 1/2..
I have 30 minutes now before I go in for a 9 hours shift.
But I'm terrified. I'm scared every time before I have to go
In to work. I'm very happy and grateful for my opportunity
To make money.. I guess I just figure I'm very replaceable
And afraid of being laid off or fired..for every little mistake I make..
And I make a lot of them. I'm a cashier at a register...
I feel like evryones scrutinising and watching me which makes
My previous paranoia skyrocket.

I've had fear everyday that I had to go to
Work at my last job..even though I had been there for a year.
I still felt it..its like my heart grumbles and moves around
And I feel sick.. I just want to go hide in a dark place. And
I haven't figured it out . Why.. I know that everyone
Makes mistakes..but my irrational fears just never ever go away.
I'm so scared. Its so intimidating.
Even my last job was like that every day before work.
Its like I'm so scared that I don't actually have another
Part of my life to distract me..like going to the gym..
Or friends.. I just sit in my dark room counting down the
Hours before work. Like doomsday. >:
I try to distract my focus elseweher so I don't get
A panic attack eventually... But I'm so scared I just can't
Do anything it seems. Everyday I pray to god that I make it.
I don't know why I'm always so scared >:
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#2
talk to your doctor okay see if he or she can prescribe you something to take that fear away so you can work without all that anxiety a fast acting benzo tell him why hugs
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#3
Hi hun how is your new job going i hope well you did good to get this job and they saw something in you they liked or they would not have hired you. You shouc be so proud hugs to you
 

foreverforgotten

Well-Known Member
#4
Thank you.
I didn't see this until today, so I'm sorry for late reply.
Things are going better..I'm still always stressed..
and scared but.. I guess that will never go away
completely. Thank you for your help ^^
Your words are very appreciated.
That's the nicest thing anyones said to me in a few years.
It means a lot.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#5
i still have some anxiety just before i go to my job as well i have been working there for a long time now. You just learn to except thats a part of you I think everyone gets that way as well to a point. I am glad things are going better for you hugs
 

Avarice

Well-Known Member
#6
I have the exact same feelings when it comes to work. It's hard to describe to somebody else how utterly difficult it is to function properly in a work environment because you can't explain why you even feel these things.

All I can really say is, if you aren't already, see your doctor about going onto some medication. I'm on citalopram and since having started taking it my anxiety and stress in regards to work has gone done a little. Not enough that I'm able to work yet, but enough that it doesn't have the huge hold on me it used to have. It's worth a try if you haven't given it a go already. :smile:
 
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