Afraid of seeking help.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Oct 24, 2014.

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  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I am in a bit of a panic mode because I know that I need to seek out therapists tomorrow, I have to call around and see what options are available to me. I have promised someone important to me that I would do this, and I don't break my promises, though I have put it off a few times already because I am scared to make the call. Because I don't know what to say, or maybe because it is such a big step. It all just seems pretty overwhelming for me. I know that I have needed help for a very long time, and I'm surprised I put it off until now. I don't know exactly what I am scared of, maybe the fact that I will be talking about my life and that is sure to dredge up some painful memories, and I may not be equipped to deal with them. Even the fact of just calling and talking on the phone and setting up an appointment is kicking my anxiety into high gear. Has anyone ever felt like this before, and if so, how did you deal with it?
     
  2. PezKraft

    PezKraft Member

    My advice to you is to allow yourself to be completely honest with yourself starting with the simplest and easiest of truths. From there, you can perhaps slowly build your way to a calmer understanding and clarity, at least for the moment. Anxious states can cause a rapid firing of thoughts, creating a forest-for-the-trees effect at times. It is a bit like a grounding technique, only extremely simple and straightforward. It could look something like this:

    "I feel scared."
    "I feel scared, and I am not really sure why."
    "I suffer from being scared sometimes without understanding why."
    "That is one of the reasons I need to seek therapy."
    "That is a very common reason people seek therapy, too."
    "Therapists thus probably get that all the time."
    "So it wouldn't be at all strange or unusual for me to tell them on the phone that I am nervous and not sure why, and then ask them to help walk me through the process of getting and giving information."
     
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you for your advice, it was helpful. :) I am trying to look at the positives of the situation instead of psyching myself out. The office of the therapist I was looking up is within walking distance, the reviews from people painted him out to be caring and considerate, and the best part of all is that my insurance covers everything. Even if for some reason it does not, there are discounts for uninsured people and also can be paid in installments. More and more is this looking like the right choice for me. I always have anxiety while talking on the phone, but I need to learn to overcome this as well. I hope this all works out, there are other therapists in the area if I can't get in here, but I'm starting to feel much more at ease about all of this.
     
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    To be very honest Witty, what you need to brace yourself for is the fact that while this is very important and eventful for you, it is exceptionally commonplace for them. Further, you are probably going to be speaking with a receptionist more often than not and just answering a few generic questions that you may not even know the answers to (like what type of therapy or specialty you are looking for) , and some very impersonal annoying things like "how do you intend to pay".

    I mention this simply to say be prepared for your nervousness to be met by a "just the facts and deal with business" attitude on the other end of the phone so do not think it is you or that they are not taking you seriously, it is just the way it is quite often. Also, none of that has any bearing on the quality of the care or therapist. Part of the reason is simply they do not want you to form an opinion or get really excited about a place until it is determined if you can actually go there based on your needs and your insurance. A good way to start is looking up participating therapists on your insurance policy plan to save a lot of useless calls.


    Congratulations on making this decision to try to get help- it is so helpful to so many people and nobody deserves to feel better more than you :hug:
     
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you, that helped a lot :hug: I'll try not to pin my hopes on one therapist and look at what other options are available to me. Oh, I almost forgot to ask, would I need a referral from a doctor first? At my last appointment, I did mention that I am often depressed, which she made a note of, but seemed to overlook my concerns. I just wasn't sure if it would be appropriate to just call any of the places without having a doctor's referral first.
     
  6. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    You can call first, but if you get discouraged trying to find then certainly can go to Dr and not only get a referral but they will often have their office call to set the first appt. While that is very convenient , it is then simply taking where they choose instead of choosing for yourself- though nothing says you cannot change if you decide you do not like where they set you an appt after going a few times. If you are comfortable calling and getting more choice and say then do so , but both ways will work (presuming your insurance company does not require a referral).
     
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I got off the phone with the therapist a few minutes ago. He seemed to put me at ease, asked a few basic questions, and booked me to see him on Thursday. I am already feeling confident about it. My mother and grandfather said I am not allowed to talk about them at all--I feel it's none of their business what I talk about with a therapist. My grandpa demanded that he has to know what is going on, that he doesn't like secrets being kept. This is one of the reasons I'm going to therapy in the first place, the constant, pointless fighting about everything. I will say what I want, and be candid about everything, otherwise it will not work. I don't care what anyone else thinks because I need the help.
     
  8. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Tell your Grandparents you talk about how you need to have a better attitude for an hour every appointment (and then spend the whole time gossiping about them if you like just to make a point of it :) )

    I am glad you got the appointment all set and hope you can get comfortable with them and use them as a resource to make things better for you. It is nobody's business what you talk about except your own and tell the therapist not to release information to anybody and especially not to them. Don't let their poor attitude make it harder , better to tell a white lie like I said above. I am really glad you got the appointment made though and hoping the best for you :hug:
     
  9. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    They just don't want me to become a stronger person, because that's part of the dysfunction, they want to find a scapegoat for their problems. But I'm not letting anyone keep me down, this is the first time I've felt confident in a long time, so I'm not going to let anything detract me now.
     
  10. Adam

    Adam SF Supporter

    Trust me, most people who enter into therapy end up discussing family at some point. It's telling they don't want you talking about them. Why might that be I wonder? Good for you any way Witty. Don't let their passive aggressive behaviour grind you down. You have a right to dignity and strength. I wish you well in your fight for yourself. Try not to go in with too high expectations. Just see what happens. Your determination and honesty can only be an asset to a better state of well being. Take care and be gentle with yourself.
     
  11. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you :) I suppose they don't want to be viewed in a bad light, but I would only be honest about what they are like. They tell me I shouldn't talk to strangers about my problems, but oddly enough, I can mostly trust them more than I can trust my own family. But hopefully I will find ways to not let them drag me down even more.
     
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