Afraid to live just want to leave

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by me84, Jun 21, 2016.

  1. me84

    me84 Active Member

    I got in trouble for public intoxication. I didnt mean to bother anyone but i have learned that if i just drink 1 too many i fall into pieces about my past. I was malesteted.. Then later in my 20s i was raped. I have severe ptsd and im so afraid of what my life has become. I have no one to talk to. I dont want my friends and family to look at me. With shame. I pulled away from everyone and now know what its like to feel so alone that even in the presence of Family i just want to break down. This feeling never seems to go away or even let up. I think about ending it all day. I try to get out of my own head. But it just keeps repeating.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi honey, you can talk to me. What kind of trouble did you get into? Did you get community service/caution or something similar?
    I am so sorry to hear you were raped and molested, I was too but somehow I am managing to get over it with therapy and radical acceptance, have you sought professional help for any of this? If not I would really recommend that you do, your recovery is vital and please stay away from the alcohol, it will make things a thousand things worse. We are here for you and will support you through this, you are not alone here, I can promise you that.
     
  3. me84

    me84 Active Member

    Im noy sure my court date is thurs. I have been on just about every anti depressent out there all of the panic attacks prescriptions they dont seem to help much but make me sleepy. Also cant stay asleep so im on pills for that too. I have tried 7 different counselors with nothing changed. They seemed to make it worse.
    Talking about my problems throws me into anxiety and panic attacks.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You must go through with the things you find really difficult to do in order to get better. Therapy has been extremely tough for me, often reducing me to tears but as they say you get worse before you will get better and that is definitely the case with mental health issues. Things will be very hard to accept but in order to be ''okay'' again you must follow through. What was the longest length of time you spent with a counsellor? What kind of counselling was it, talk therapy or a specific one like CBT/DBT. We are here to support you, this is not an easy road to go down but you will get there, I know that much :)