My life is ok. actually great. I am good at self care self love. I have a good job. I recently found a new passion in ceramics and have a new dream of selling my stuff when i become good at my new passion. I do not have any family issues. My husband is manageable. but I cant help to constantly have these suicidal thoughts. Something is wrong with me! Often I keep thinking i shld talk to a therapist. but I always withdraw at the very last minute. Do I really have a problem? But i often keep thinking. why is life so tiring so much effort to lead the life i am leading. i am running out of energy. how long do i have to keep doing this. at least until my parents are not around this is what I keep thinking.But my life is good.i am acting like a self entitled bitch. i am feeling so tired. I dunno what to feel anymore.