12 years ago I got sick with a mysterious immune disorder (They call it Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, but that really doesn't do much for me) and it's wrecked my life. I've had short periods where I could work, develop relationships and try to build back a life, only to relapse, lose money, lose relationships and end up bedridden for months and even years. I've strictly adhered to natural foods, done yoga when I could, meditated, prayed, done qi gong, tried supplements, seen doctors and spent over $50,000 out of pocket over 12 years. Now I'm near broke and too sick to work for over two years. SSDI from the govt won't even pay my rent. But MOST OF ALL. I'm TIRED OF BEING BEDRIDDEN. TIRED OF HAVING NO LIFE. I have no family to take me in or help. My Mom's dead, my father won't help and my sister lives in foreign embassies, working for the govt. I have no friends left who can help me. But that wouldn't matter anyway. This is my decision. I don't want to live with this crippling illness where I feel sick every day and there has been and so far is no cure. Before I spend my last $5,000 I want to take a trip somewhere nice and lay on a beach. Then I am going to overdose or drown or 'have an accident.' I would prefer to have an accident so as not to hurt anyone left behind who might care. If you have any ideas for a good accident that would be easy and not too painful please feel free to suggest. This is a very rational decision I've come to after 3 years of soul searching. I've lived a GREAT life mostly (except this illness) and I'm just DONE WITH THE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL SUFFERING. I feel people with incurable illnessess that render them bedridden and in pain should have the option to die with dignity. I'm choosing that route. I feel it is compassion and if you are a Christian, though the bible may disagree, I have made my peace with Christ and I believe he forgives me.