After 20 Years, How Do I Start Dating Again?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Godsdrummer, Feb 27, 2009.

  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Since my marriage is ending, and there looks to be no chance of reconciliation, it has been 6 months of seperation now, I need to start thinking about life as a single man, and re-entering the dating arena.

    I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. I dont want to go to the bars. But I don't know where else to meet women.

    How do I start dating again?
  2. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    Hi mate, I divorced after 12 years of marriage (15 altogether) and rightly or wrongly I started up straight away. It was the wrong thing to do, it ended up just being meaningless sex which might be ok for some but not for me. if you are used to a long term relationship, then its safe to assume thats what you want to do again. Depending on how old you are, the bar/club scene might not be that appropriate. You may think it sounds lame, but have yoiu thought about an internet dating siter like I joined for 6 months and met about 15 or so women. I realised that I was not over my wife still (divorced 2 years ago), but when I am, I would consider this option.
    Good luck
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hi FPS. Are you sure you want to get back into it right away? Dating while heavily depressed is a recipe for disaster. Either it doesn't go well and you feel miserable , or it goes well and you still feel miserable- but now you're in a position where you have to put a nice mask on for the other person; it's not fair for depressive people to be emotionally involved with other people who will end up being hurt by their problems. Just a thought though.

    Dating is much easier for guys now. I don't know if you have a problem starting up a conversation, but I'd suggest joining a social group - because frankly it's good for depression and for meeting people. Then starting off with a coffee or appetizer, maybe a movie. Try not to be intimidated by the concept of dating. The fact that you were married for twenty years proves that you're a good catch to most people.

    You're responsible and dependable -otherwise you wouldn't have lasted 20 years. Online dating works, but I can't help but stress the idea of auditing a community college course. The important thing is to have fun.

    best luck.

  4. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    How about internet dating, but please make sure you are over your ex first, there would be nothing worse, then getting into another relationship when really a part of your heart is somewhere else, and most of all just be you, there isnt a certain way you need to be, take things slowly, and enjoy