I was sexually molested by my stepfather from the time I was 3 1/2 until I was 8 and he was put in jail. It did not really affect my life in any major way most of my life. I didn't have I had a few nightmares here and there but nothing major. I would say that the only real affect it had on me was that I am extremely, painfully shy and find a hard time trusting people until I know them for a long time. I did have depression as a teenager and I was a cutter, resulting in two hospital stays but I am not sure if it was a result of the abuse or just everything else in my life like being homeless 3 times and my mom moving us all around the place and her numerous boyfriends (one of which had showed me his genitals on numerous occasions). I am 24 now and I am a full time college student who got a late start at it. The monster was released from prison almost a year ago and it really didnt bother me too much...until now. It really all seems to be hitting me now. For the past few weeks I have been crying constantly, having nightmares, thinking about everything that happened to me. It seems to have started in my Abnormal Psych class when working on the chapter on sexual abuse and pedophilia. I have been thinking about everything that is going wrong in my life and I have been thinking about suicide. I don't know what to do. I always thought that I was stronger than some people who went through what I did and that it didn't affect me, but maybe it really did. I cant afford to got to any kind of therapy. I don't want to hurt myself but I feel that it's the only way out.