After effects of molestation

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by collegedude250, Mar 15, 2010.

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  1. collegedude250

    collegedude250 Active Member

    Does anyone find that after being molested as a kid that they tend to.... well seek out sex. I was molested and i find that sex just comes natural to me now and I just kinda shut down on the common sense bar when i get near it; so i have it whenever. does that happen to anyone else or am i just a slut?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to get help some councilling on how you are feeling You are acting out as they say. Go to a sexual assault councillor and get some therapy because what is happening is not your fault you are responding to the abuse that happened long ago and you need some healing and direction therapy okay.
  3. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Your not alone in whats happening to you. I was sexually abused when I was young and started having sex at 12 years old. At first it was with other girls but by the time I was 13 I was having sex with guys too. I would basically seek it out - go out with guys I knew would have sex with me - sneek around to do it. Basically I just didnt care.. I felt like it was something I needed to feel like a whole person and to be accepted my others. Although I realised some of the people I went with were only wanting sex and nothing else I didnt care. I felt loved and accepted.. It went along like that until I met my current husband and then I would offer him sex 6 or more times a day (but wouldnt cheat on him like I had other boyfriends in the past). So I know your not alone in what your going thru.
  4. JustSam

    JustSam Well-Known Member

    Well Idk.
    For me, I hate being touched, unnecessarily. I hate any kind of intimate anything.
    But, that's only if it's not sexually motivated.
    If it is, I'm still bothered but I push my way through it.
    So idk, I think you could have lots of different effects
    Generally though, it seems all effects shed a negative light upon a person's sexual life.
  5. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    I think the biggest effect for me is that I was (and still am) uncomfortable with any type of sex that is too personal. As long as it was with someone I didn't know well, and there was no real relationship, I was fine. But if the relationship started to go somewhere, I had to end it.

    I assume this was because the abuser was a family member. Any type of physical acts with someone I'm close to, upset me.
  6. collegedude250

    collegedude250 Active Member

    Thanks for the insights everyone; I really appreciate it. Anything I read I do take into high amounts of consideration because I know I am talking to people who have been there before rather than people who "just want to help." All opinions and suggestions are welcome just please don't attack me via forum.
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I kind of understand why I stuck with my ex for so long. It was contact, it was safe, it was what I was used to. No close intimacy just bullshit over and over again.

    In my head though, I'm not. I often fantasised about being with someone else who loved me, or was in love with me and was actually making love to me. :rolleyes: I think that's another reason why I stuck it out for so long..
  8. blazalaza

    blazalaza Member

    I feel that way too sometimes. But I do agree with what was said above about it being too personal, I can't do things with someone i have feelings for. I cant touch someone who i lvoe or who loves me, because then i will automatically hate them. For me it was my brother who molested and beat me. So i always feel the need to flirt with guys and let them ave their way because a part of me is still a little afraid of being beaten. But really I do have a very strong sexual nature that I do think came from being molested.
  9. collegedude250

    collegedude250 Active Member

    thanks blazalaza it's nice to know I'm not alone in this. I'm sorry for what happened to you.
  10. Surely Not

    Surely Not Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way. After I was molested at age six I constantly thought about and wanted sex. I am still overly sexual to this day. I don't know how to be intimate without being sexual.
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Psychologists believe that when a person experiences sex at a young age, (even through sexual molestation by an adult) the person becomes sexually active and seeks out sexual gratification. The real question is why does this happen? It seems reasonable that if someone's only sexual experience is purely sexual and not sharing an emotional, intimate connection, then they will want a purely sexual relationship, because that is what they are comfortable with. It's not that you don't want an intimate relationship, you just haven't learned how to have one.
  12. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    My first sexual encounters were from six-to-twelve. None in high school. I constantly sought out sex on the internet, but it led to overwhelming guilt and torment preventing me from actually seeking any sort of fulfilling relationship. I would put up walls to stay emotionally cold. I still beat up myself over my own sexuality everyday. I've cut down on pornography severely, and relapse every once in a while.
  13. Ember

    Ember Member

    I was molested as a teenager (between 9 and 18) by two different men and if anything, I'm unable to have any intimacy with anyone as a result. I look at others who are in happy relationships and fantasize about having something like that, but the reality is that it feels unattainable because I am very uncomfortable around the opposite sex when it comes to anything beyond a platonic friendship.
  14. lakes

    lakes New Member

    I thinjk I know where you're coming from. For me it had a lot to do with being a sucker for any kind of affection. desperate even. Rendering my judgement unsound
  15. Neuropedia

    Neuropedia Member

    after I was sexually assaulted I did this for like a year. then I ended up in an abusive relationship. now I cant sex or intimacy and when I've tried I've panicked or vomited
  16. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    This is basically how I feel.
  17. Charlotte scott

    Charlotte scott Banned Member

    i to was molested by my father when i was a child he inserted his penis in to me many times i believe that it has changed my sex life it makes me seek it as if a am obsessed. I think collage dude 250 is wright because i did enjoy it but i don't think it is write.
  18. maitreya

    maitreya Member

    You aren't just a slut. Its normal for people who have been molested as children to act out sexually later in adulthood. When a person is introduced to sex at a young age, that experience becomes a deeply rooted part of who they are. It's really hard to learn that sex isn't everything.

    I can relate to you and other people who've posted here. I was molested when I was very young, and growing up I craved sex all the time. I still do and it gets to points where I can't focus on anything else (like work, school) because sex is all I can think about. I really hate it sometimes, but that just makes me crave it more. The more I want it the more I hate myself, and the more I hate myself the more I want it.

    Sometimes I wish I could live without it, have real relationships that don't depend on it. I hate how much it affects me.
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