after I couldnt continue tolerating

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I've been tolerating this world since I could realize myself in the world!last year my dad and mom had lots of problem and they decided to get divorced!we had a great family before that so I couldnt continue tolerating this world so I decided to end this life!after 2 or 3 months I went to the darkest and the most dangerous part of my city to by some drugs!I paid a lot for it!and then I did everything I had to do before dying!then when I was ready I went to a coffee shop and mixed the drugs with my coffee!when I was going to drink that coffee I could hear my heartbeat!I was thinking to my little brother and to my mother who loves me and couldnt live without her children!then after drinking it nothing happened!I felt like throwing up!I came out and went to the street and I just walked!I thought that I have died and this is the life after the death!it was unbelievable that it doesnt work!I couldnt live anymore and I couldnt die!so I promised to myself that i wouldnt give up until I can be successful in killing myself!actually I tried 2 more times but everytime the samething happened!I was thinking about jumping from a tower that I realized Im living now!after these situations happened I was really different!I thought that this world is just a dream and I can do whatever I want!it was good since then! I wasnt sad anymore and I was really successful in my study!but there is a feeling that always bothers me!if this world is not real so why do we hurt ourselves attempting to work and earn money and eat and stay alive.if these are all a dream so why dont we wake up now?actually I am really tired and completely exhausted!


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Interesting experiences you’ve had there, khaste :tongue:

“why don’t we wake up now?” - an excellent question!

Here are some video clips you may enjoy :)

You Know It's a Movie ~ Mooji

Who Are You.....Really?

The Shift--Wayne Dyer 1
(Ambition to Meaning - Finding Your Life's Purpose)

Note: The movie is consisted of 13 video clips so you need to click the next clip after one is finished...

There are also many books helping us to “wake up”…actually there is one even entitled “Wake Up Now” by Stephan Bodian (available at

As to “why do we hurt ourselves attempting to work and earn money and eat and stay alive”, who knows, maybe just to “wake up”? :cool:

With loving wishes and hugs :hug:
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