After one year of free cutting...:(

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by morning rush, Dec 8, 2009.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    Yep after about a year of free cutting, tonight I cut again...I knew I was going to do it since two or three days ago because I had that big urge...Last night almost did it as I watched this movie about vampires...sometimes seeing blood, especially blood feeding tends to trigger me...I dunno why...when I cut I usually taste my own blood...does anyone else do that? I dunno why I like the taste...I'm weird...

    I'm going to need to buy cleaning napkins the kind that disinfect...

    the weird thing is I should be disapointed with myself..but strangely enough...I ain't...I'm actually happy I did it...what kind of twisted person have I become????
  2. kiki_khaos

    kiki_khaos Member

    I do it sometimes too (not to be weird or anything), but to me its like another way of knowing I'm alive and to feel like I am me (if that makes sense)
  3. flower123

    flower123 Member

    yeh it is sometimes easier and better if you s/h rather than doing something worse as the urges can get really strong and then you struggle.
    my m//h worker told me that if you carry a kit around with you then it will make you feel more secure because you have the option of s/h if you need to.

    how are you feeling today??? and btw you are not twisted - relapse is normal and can release all stresses - so it is normal that you are goin through this.....

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