After surviving two suicide attempts over the past two years there is this question that has me wondering. What would happen if I did go through with it and ended my life? There are a few reasons that I choose to keep living, one is my mother, I don’t want to hurt her or leave her, another is hope that things will change for the better and if they don’t then I guess I would just have to accept how much my life sucks and how much pain I am really in, which in that situation I really would want to kill myself. But the last thing that keeps me from not doing it is the one that torments me the most and scares me, and that is if there is an afterlife, if a “soul” really does exist and if so, what happens to our souls if we kill ourselves? Some people say that suicides go to “hell” or purgatory, which I don’t believe in, that to me is more on a religious basis, but I also heard that suicides get stuck earth bound where their souls roam around for I don’t even know how long and they don’t realize they are dead, other people say that suicides go to a place where they experience more pain then they ever had on earth, a place of true solitary where nothing and no one can help you, that scares the shit out of me and makes me want to tough it out with my life. I always think back to the movie What Dreams May Come where the protagonist’s wife commits suicide and goes to this place of solitary confinement where she is not aware of the reality or what she has done. I just want to hear your opinions on what you think happens to a suicide if there is such a thing as an afterlife and if you don’t believe in an afterlife that is fine too. I know a lot of people here contemplate suicide or even attempted like I have, but have you ever stopped and think about what may happen afterwards? It is enough for me to not want to kill myself even though I have been suffering more this past year than I remember feeling in a very long time.