After the failed attempt

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 5150incalif, Aug 7, 2007.

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  1. 5150incalif

    5150incalif Member

    I had planned everything I was not expecting to fail. But, I did. Waking up and realizing that I'm still here was one of the worse experiences. Everyday I regret it. I would have rather been dead. What came after was far worse than the depression. My doctor labels me a severely depressed and actively suicidal. It's not important what I'm labeled. I just want the suffering to go away. I scheduled for ECT in two weeks. I do not want to do this but everything else has failed. I plan to do this alone. I don't want anyone I know to see me if I were to lose memory.

    I've given all the ropes, wires, knives and even the two cases of Nitrous I had set up for next week. I'm asking for help, but I had enough. My dead will be quick and certain. I've always said I would rather die than to be subjected to ECT or hospitalization

    Do many people attempt a second time after trying once before.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Try not to freak out at the thought of the ECT, scarey as it can seem it does actually work for a lot of deeply depressed people.
    Surely its worth exploring hun, even if you see it as a last ditch effort.
     
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I'd never have "an attempt" or like "5 attempts"
    I'd only have one, and that'd be the end of me.
     
  4. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    A friend attempted it once and was bedridden for a good month because it messed up her stomach. She got out some time later and made a successful attempt, not that there's anything positive about the word successful there.
     
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