aftermath of rape and incest

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by swimmergirl, May 2, 2010.

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  1. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I feel like a disgusting *****, and always will, and that is why I hate being alive.
     
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    o hun...i think we should talk...if you dont mind.

    I was also a victum of rape incest :(

    you dont have to talk...just know i am here when you do :hug:

    :cry: its hard but hang in there hun.

    NOT YOUR FAULT!
     
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    You're far from disgusting. He is. Not you.
     
  4. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    I'm a victim of the same, and I know how hard it is to battle that feeling of shame and disgust that you have inside.

    But the person who did this to you is the one who was wrong, not you. You were an innocent victim, and you are still innocent.

    Please PM me if you need to talk.
     
  5. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    You're far from disgusting. The person who inflicted evil upon you, he's lower than disgusting. I agree with the above posts.
     
  6. pammy

    pammy Banned Member

    You are here and holding on to life. I admire you for that. I too was raped and abused and I do know how you feel, everyday is a struggle to live, but hang on in there if you can. All the best , I am thinking of you.
     
  7. pl2584

    pl2584 Member

    you did nothing wrong just be strong and you can make it through this.
     
  8. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Oh G-d, I am so sorry you are feeling this....

    What was done to you was disgusting - you aren't
     
  9. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    It hurts so much - but it can get better....keep telling yourself that it was the filth that did this to you...

    You are not how people treat you

    Let yourself feel what was taken from you, as horrible as it is - it will help you move past it

    This is something I wrote in my journal two years ago:

    Grieving innocence that should have been
    Alienated from warmth and love
    Raped
    Broken
    Alone
    Gone is the wonder, adventure, feelings of youth
    Existence is all that is left

    GARBAGE to be used and thrown away


    I wanted death at the time - and felt like I would never come out of it - but I know better now... Takes time but just keep telling yourself you are not the disgusting one...

    Keep posting, reaching out for support, writing has always helped me...

    Take care of yourself :hug:
     
  10. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Sweetheart! This was not your fault, you were an innocent victim! Never forget that. You are strong and beautiful and you can fight this thought.. this demon. For you to even be alive now is a victory! A victory to anyone who has suffered rape or any form of abuse.. and it means your strong. And it will be hard but you can do it when you have the support of many others like yourself on here :hugtackles:

    Just remember, Your never alone and we are ALWAYS here to listen.

    Stay strong baby doll, and God will keep you safe <3 xoxoxoxoox
     
  11. Perchance

    Perchance Member

    I know how you feel, dear. I hope it gets better soon.
     
  12. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    thanks everyone.

    It's so hard, i wish I could just erase my memory. Be someone that did not live through this, just get away from the nightmares.
     
  13. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    I know how it feels to want to get rid of the pain :/ xo
     
  14. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    I am not necessarily a victim of what is considered rape and abuse (child of similar age), but I am a victim of incest, and I feel the same way every single day. The sad thing is that I recently let down my walls for my cousin exclusively, but ended up falling for her. I have and never will do anything with my cousin, but the guilt of having feelings for her that don't belong do nothing, but continue my self-loathing because my childhood incest problems. Not to mention it has brought in symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's a struggle, but you are not alone, and you didn't do anything wrong. You have to just color a pillow with eyes and nose to represent your inner child, and apologize for continuing that pain. Tell them that nothing wrong was done from your side. For me, that is very difficult because of my recent problem, but I hope those feelings subside soon so i don't have to hate on myself anymore.
     
  15. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Swimmergirl. I think that you have to acknowledge that it happened to you and put the past behind you so that you can move on with your life. You were the vicim and you shouldn't feel bad about yourself. You did nothing wrong. Don't let it consume you. :hug:
     
  16. finderskeepers

    finderskeepers New Member

    the aftermath of rape and incest goes on and on. don't let anyone tell you otherwise but the good news is that you can learn to feel alive again - even for just brief moments at a time. I was molested by a lot of men so it wasn't shocking to me when my older br tried to have sex with me. I loved him, I still do but the guilt he lived with for what he did to me haunted him until he finally killed himself 2 years ago. He begged me to forgive him and I did, not because I had to for god or some such nonsense but because his suffering on account of what he did to me was genuine. I miss him so very much now but I know he got what he deserved. You can't screw someone up, especially a child, and not suffer consequences. You will be avenged one day! Until then, love yourself, keep a grief journal about the time your innocence died and fill your life with people who love you to the core. It will get better - I promise.
     
  17. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    thanks for sharing everyone, it helps to know I am not alone and others struggle through this darkness.
     
  18. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    I hate that feeling. I feel so grosse and disgusted too...feel so dirty and like I should be hung and ridiculed....totally filthy.....
     
  19. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Always remember that you did nothing wrong. The person who abused you is the disgusting one for doing that to a child. :hug:
     
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