Again And Again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Relentless, May 5, 2008.

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  1. Relentless

    Relentless Active Member

    I am back once again with the stupid thoughts of suicide.

    I am 16 years old in High School, I am pretty much an anti social. I have high anxiety and I hate my life. Right now I see no point in living? I am failing school so bad it's not funny, failed like 3 classes this so far, I have 2 weeks left of school and I have literally all F's that I doubt I can bring myself out of. I will not get a diploma I will go nowhere in life! I won't have a good job, there could be hope, I could meet a nice girl that could keep me from suicide. Oh I forgot I am anti social with bad anxiety and can't even talk to girls. I could have a job the rest of my life taking over my dads business, he owns a plumbing company and has a contract with a house building companies so he plumbs all their new houses. But I can not stand that type of work, I do it for a summer job and about want to kill myself just to stop doing that horrible work.

    I have no friends, none not 1 single friend in this whole world. Well except for the people on the internet and on Xbox Live, but those can't count as friends, so I am all alone. I've never grasped the concept of school either, I would consider myself fairly smart but school is just beyond stupid. And they say they want to help you graduate but when you ask for help they won't help you!

    I just don't see the point in living, get out of High School work a crappy job that I will hate for the rest of my life. Never get married because I sit in my room all day on the computer and Xbox. Never enjoy life always wanting to die. So really what is the point in living? Going through all of that horrible stuff for what? Why not just die right now and save myself years and years of pain and suffering?
     
  2. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Social skills are learned at home with our family, primarily. Obviously, many miss that lesson. Many therapists can help you with your social skills, and perhaps more importantly, your view of yourself.

    School is great for the masses, but then there are the few who don't educated in the traditional setting. Life educates, and sometimes more quickly that a classroom does. I very much disliked school (but went on masochistically to college), and had marginal grades in everything but music. That's where I found connection with education. We learned instruments, we learned to play together, and we learned by performing. Music is still a part of who I am.

    Can you accept the concept that, even while you're working for your father, you might find something else that will bring you satisfaction? House painting has given me satisfaction because I can start with a really bad exterior, do all the prep, the priming, the selection of colors, and finally, a finished job for which I can be proud knowing I've done it right and seeing how much better it looks.

    I never thought I'd paint houses, but the time came when I wasn't making enough money, so I had to do something that added to my income. Found out that I enjoyed it.

    C. S. Lewis wrote a book called "Surprised by Joy". Life has those surprises. Times when we find meaning, we find meaningful relationships, we find meaningful employment, and maybe we even find joy. I hope that you'll keep going, doing whatever it takes, until you find those things that give you fulfillment and joy.
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    If you believe that social skills are learned, then you can begin to see how to acquire them...find one person who you think might be a worthy candidate, and ask him/her something about him/herself...see if you can find someone with a similiar set of interests, then you will have something to talk about...also practice on the telephone...call and ask when the movie is starting or how to get directions to a store you like to go to; this will lessen the fear of talking when you want to...also, there is a large amt of information on the net and in the professional arena to assist you...join a chat/forum on social (interpersonal) communication ... just my 2 sense and hope it helps...best regards, J
     
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