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again and again..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Stormhand, Mar 22, 2010.

  1. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    I know some I have told about myself, my health and how it has afected me during my life.
    But something has come up.
    Lately I have been so damn angry, one o my roommates even says I have been looking stressed when I swear I am not.

    I am tired..tired of feeling my own mom looks at me like I am some sort of weakling that can't take care of himself.
    When I lived by myself for 5 damn years...I never needed help once I always handled this by myself.

    Ok..about the time when I was 3, I was diagnosed wiht epilepsy.
    Well needless to say, I have dealt with hypocrites, who fired me when I had a seizure on the job.
    I was teased behind my back at school cause assholes thought it was funny to talk about me like I am less then them cause of how my seizures afect my lfe!!
    And my mom did not make things easier..she did not think I was capable of doing anythign on my own, when I even went to the effort each time she said such things to prove her wrong and each time I did!!

    I feel she looks low to me no more then the jerks I put up with in school.
    And it does not matter what I say, or how many times I try to say it.
    She feels each time I try to talk to her about these things is some sort of attack on her..do you blame me for blowing up at her after having to handle all of this shit alone..??

    now as jack sparrow said.."why is the rum always gone?"
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Alan: I have had fits of anger too over a physical disorder and I am trying to find other ways of enjoying my life after my physical abilities were taken from me...this is such a rough road, but I truly understand...big hugs, J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    anger can be useful at times but not a good tool i hope you can find someone to help you with it. Anger management classes something. I use anger to pull me out of depression only.
  4. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    actually I have been thinking to just tell my mom how her doubting me, her insecurities, and paranoia has affected me since I was in school.

    BUt I just have this bad feeling nothing will come out of this.
    One person told me if I don't I will never trust women again, which did not make sense to me cause I disagree totally, cause THAT nas nothing to do with THIS to me, the reason I don't right now is cause of my ex gfs, disloyalty and lies.