again--life is changed and over

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by IZ2INSANE, Aug 6, 2011.

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    IZ2INSANE Well-Known Member

    lost very important job as director of local drug/alcohol rehab.
    tried everything I know to change my thought by taking positive action.
    Called all my suport, spiritual people, been going to very private counseling twice a week and psych doc once a month. Been sober/clean for about 1 1/2 decades...
    Looking for permenant relief in all the wrong places.
    When do you say when to going into psych facilities that I have parnered with and trained with for a decade?
    The helper is about to become a patient. Pride may get in to sove this myself----been overly obbsessed about doing this myself..
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi there!

    Well, I assume you have tried finding other jobs.. :(

    I understand the stigma of letting other people know about a psychiatric hospital stay, having stayed in psychiatric hospitals two months this year. Maybe, though, your true friends will become ever more important.

    I wish I knew what to do in your situation... Perhaps you might have to try several different kinds of meds before one helps you enough to keep you stable for now. However, that takes time, as those meds often take several weeks for any effects to be realized.

    :hug: Best of luck with the decision you make.

    With care,

  3. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    You have options open - losing the job is hard but I've lost lots of jobs - cannot count them - but each loss was a gain later on - other jobs came - and easier things than working the 9-5 circuit.

    With all the Afghan heroin heading to the USA (likely in military CIA planes) you will have lots of work ahead in your field that is for SURE.

    But - retain for something else?

    Have you got enough money to last you?

    And I would also look into help for rent and so on in the meantime.

    Hide some savings?

    I would.

    And as Alex says - maybe meds will be something for the interim - long term, I'm not sure - in fact I think if anyone can avoid meds - do so! That means using a lot of other techniques such as exercise and diet (most important) and keeping some hand in social activities - however mundane they may seem to others.

    Talking to people is essential.

    I think people who cut off social contact are kind of working the suicide ticket - letting less people mourn maybe. Silly really - but keeping it to yourself - I juggled it for 30 years and don't really know why I am still here - I mean - I'd exhausted a lot of things before I came here.

    Now I know a LOT more and have more to learn.

    I'm still hiding the darkness! But we all do that. It makes sense not to go into wok and tell everyone you spent Friday night and Saturday night thinking about dying.

    Imagine a first date - you pass the wine, she asks "what do you do then?" You say "sleep with random women to keep from killing myself - " You call the waiter and order a meal and tell him your suicidal so try not to overcook the fish.

    I'm a private person in some things - we all are. Suicide is like - THE most private thing. For many here - its a problem what to do with it. Who to tell? Who to talk to?

    But - its possible to find people to share with.

    I want to break out of the cocoon of depression - and fly.

    Fear is still there - even for me.

    I will kick the **** out of that fear soon enough.
  4. roscho

    roscho Well-Known Member


    Consider what you'd tell a person just like yourself if they came to you at your facility.

    It's ok to get help. Not trying to make a dumb analogy - but Tiger Woods has a couple of different golf coaches that he works with every day.

    Sometimes we need to get out of our own way.

    You are not going down - you are widening your base so you can go higher.

    IZ2INSANE Well-Known Member

    I REALLY appreciate the help and hope. I know you understand what it is like making your job be who you are.
    Earlier in my life I spent pretty much OD'ing and being intoxicated---never holding a real job.
    After getting cleaned up I started working for different medical facilities and eventually worked in a large distribution bulk pharmacy---I know it sounds odd but I really thrived in that enviornment. Went directly from that job to the alcohol/drug rehab job---much lower pay but felt like I was doing something important.
    I have not drank in over a decade----when I did I always ended up on a respirator or restarting my heart.
    I have changed and am a different person---but I need relief---not sure I can do the dope---booze deal----just a slow death and painful for family. What would I tell someone else----get to a hospital ----get to a safe place.
    I see thearapist once this week and PDOC on friday. I think I just need to be sedated ---my doctor does not believe in over medicating....
    Do they beleive in living??
    I know how people think----get drugged /drunk to not feel or get into some hospital I have worked at or just take care of it.
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