again(may trig)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jane doe, Dec 14, 2006.

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  1. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i just did it again. i feel soo damn good after cutting myself with a buchelor knife, i like to see the blood coming out. i feel like everything could end tonight. yes i´m drunk again and i don´t feel the pain. i´m sad again and i like it. i´m driving myself crazy and i like it. it feels like if i die tonight it will be painless, i feel so damn good now, i like being like this, why my boyfriend want to take away the onlything i still enjoy? because he loves me i know but i don´t care you know. i don´t care about nothing tonight jut me and my knife...................... i will go to eat supper now, see you around!!!!!!!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 14, 2006
  2. Hey

    Hey Active Member

    I never really understood self-harm, does it 'take the pain away' from your head? :unsure:

    I mean you *could* cut yourself and deal with guilt or you could....play a sport or be immersed into some type of physical activity. It sounds like you don't feel guilt about cutting though. I honestly don't know what to say.

    You can mask pain/problems with whatever you would like- but they will still reside in our heads and will not go away without working through them. Ie. Questioning why you feel the way you feel. And resolving the situation accordingly.
     
  3. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    it takes away the emotional pain that i feel for a while, and it lets you cooled down, i don´t know how describe it. but the thing is that is addictive so once you make the first cut you cant let it´, is like a fissical need, and when some time has past you need it more and more....just like drugs i think.
     
  4. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    Jane

    You can pm me anytime. Hang in there hun. Remember we are in this together. Please don't do anything you'd regret.
     
  5. thecleric

    thecleric Guest

    I've only done it a few times. But it's a chance to toy with the possibility of going all the way.

    But I'm also amused by jane doe's statement that, after having cut herself, she's off to eat supper. Life goes on, and you slog through it.
     
  6. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    yes after doing it i feel normal again. i don´t feel sad or angry, my life goes on and i feel normal. but i just wanted to tell you, try to not do it anymore because you will reach a point where´s not return, take care
     
  7. PainEngulfsMe

    PainEngulfsMe Active Member

    cutting releases endorphins, which do actually make you feel better.
     
  8. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    thank you for the information i did´t know about it...so that´s the reason i feel like an adict? we humans are so strange
     
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