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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Dec 31, 2012.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thoughts are there.... Looking into a new year is so scary.. And I've to do this on my own. Every day, over and over. How do I keep moving forward? How to rid my mind of stupid, but tempting thoughts? How do I live each day? The same stuff over and over? The thought of trying makes me heel like its too much, that I am certainly inadequate. And inadequate inso many ugly ways. I want to ask for help, but I can't allow myself appear pathetic too. And what for help am I seeking? I have no idea.

    I am so sorry
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Mo, you are not pathetic at all. But you are grieving. And perhaps dealing with a lot of old feelings about yourself. Other people would respect this. But I hear ya that you feel pathetic. I must say, I feel similar feelings about myeslf.

    in 12 step programs they say one day at a time. Its for a good reason. Because looking at anything longer than that is way too overwhelming. It seems nothing less than impossible. And I have known recovering people who say one hour, or one minute at a time. Looking at the future is just too much. I have never had to face life without a partner who passed. I do not know the grief of that. But I would imagine that the word "overwhelming" is an understatment.

    If you do reach out you will not be percieved as pathetic. Even though it is the thoughts you have about yourself. For me it is difficult because I am so fragile. I feel like I would break if I reached out and was hurt. But that keeps me from reaching out for help irl. Perhaps you can be better at this than I. I hope you can and will. And ps, there is nothing to be sorry about. I mean that.
    :hug: :heart: :rose:
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