Hi Guys, it's been a while since i've felt so low that i've had to post. i usually dont because the lack of support around here recently just makes me feel worse but here goes!... I finally got the person who made me suicidal out of my life, he's not in my phone, hes not on msn, i dont contact him and he sure as hell wont contact me. But that doesnt mean he's out of my mind. I HATE HIM AND HE'S HAUNTING ME! As much as he hates to admit it and so do i, he's ruined my life in SO many ways. Will i ever trust again? Will i ever love again? Will i ever have any pride or confidence again? At the moment every dream i had is seeming impossible...i feel worthless! My best friend is over seas and im not going to b over there until december, thats a long time to hold all this in. No1 knows...everyone congratualates me for how well I'm doing, how much better i've gotten..sure there has been an improvement but I'm not better and never will i be. The thought of getting up each day is such a burden..i just want to be away with him, only him! I want us to b more and i will never know until i get there. Plus in the mean time I'm hurting others who r here that want to be with me, I dont want them to feel half the pain i do! Why can't everyting just work out and everyone be happy? I dont know if i can deal with it any longer. I'm 19, i should be having fun, enjoying life and setting up for a future...but that's not the way it's turning out. You only get out what u put in? thats bull shit! I gave my all and this is wat i get in return...it's not fair!