Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Michael Lee, Sep 18, 2008.

  1. Michael Lee

    Michael Lee Well-Known Member

    I've had to deal with two suicides in the past 6 months. All along I've been comtemplating it myself. It is as if I am living a schizophrenic existance. Daily I walk with people as they go through their sickness, misery and pain. I play the role of husband and father to the best of my ability. Then I lay my head down at night. Think about Mary and consider ways to do my self in. Get up in the morning and go back to work. I am so damn lonely. I miss living in the city. Walking the streets, the smell of car fumes, the blank stares of the faces passing by. I miss the taste of alcohol. The smell of the girl I love, The taste of her kiss. Damn.
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am sorry you are feeling so low :hug:
    Why not take a day for yourself and visit the city where you used to live if you miss it. Maybe that would make you feel ok for a day.
  3. Michael Lee

    Michael Lee Well-Known Member

    When I go there I get suicidal
  4. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    :hug: i'm here if you need to talk to someone.
    i know how you feel somewhat.

    i'm terribly sorry you are missing
    so many things:hug:

    PM me if you need.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 18, 2008
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry Michael. I have no words that can change the past or bring what you want to the present or future. If I could change that I would. i know your children are important to ve a small one still at home. If nothing else go on in order to spare them the pain of the suicide of their father. You are a blessing to many people in your community and this would have a devestating effect on them as well. I know this leaves you to think, :But what about me? What about my wants, my needs?" I think when we become parents, we give that up. At least for a very long time. As always, I am here should you need someone to listen. It is the most I can offer you. For that I am sorry. Please take care and stay safe. :hug:
  6. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I too am sorry that all I can offer is a listening ear. But I hope you do not go thru with your idea of suicide. That would only make things worse for your loved ones.

    Vent to us here anytime you're feeling so low.