I was OK for a bit there and kept really busy with friends and life. Now I am really depressed and every night I sit here thinking of just taking all the pills and it will be over. I find myself crying and feeling very very angry. I am here right now to try and distract myself. I should tell my doctor but I can never do it. I have been so close but I guess I am afraid of what he would think or what would happen after. I have been really sick physically and been dealing with my doctor lately but I never could bring up other things. But things have been hard again. I am having problems telling apart reality and fiction. I don't know what is going on. I don't know if it is from being sick or something else. I am really confused and ready to give up.