Again?!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anasgirlx, Jan 11, 2011.

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  1. anasgirlx

    anasgirlx Well-Known Member

    Wow, haven't been here in a while..

    Can't believe I'm suicidal again..yesterday, I stayed home from school and contemplated taking my entire bottle of Abilify just to end everything.

    I can honestly say I've missed everyone here and missed the support. If anyone reads and/or comments this, it will be a miracle, though, as I'm sure you're all tired of hearing me drone on about my suicidal feelings..

    Ready to end it all again..


    :|
     
  2. jay67

    jay67 Member

    You sound down today

    Worried is what I feel when you say you are feeling suicidal again. I know it must seem strange that a total stranger should express concern but I think it's a natural reaction to seeing or hearing a fellow human being in distress. Beyond that, I believe most of the members in this forum have been touched by suicide personally. The problems that you're facing, your feelings, your pain is undoubtedly real and in no sense "boring". Why don't we see about getting you help. Change is possible.
     
  3. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    I'm sure nobody is tired of hearing you relate your problems. you have only posted 71 times and that is not a lot. It's good you were away from the forum as that generally implies your feeling OK in yourself.

    Please try to set aside any intent to do anything rash. If you have been feeling OK then what has triggered this period of depression? Also, as your so young, try and seek some kind of counselling, maybe go through the school IF you still feel bad on a constant basis for a week or more.

    What about parents? They will be about my age or so. I've got plenty of younger relatives and would be horrified if any tried to commit suicide and mad because they never spoke to me about it.

    Life does get better when you leave school. not sure if peer group pressure (bullying) is an issue with you. And bear in mind you will feel 'awkward' at the stage you are at now - the transition from child to a women. Talk to your mum or any older women you know - they will reassure you perhaps.

    I never liked school for a year or so with bullying. The bullies then are nothing now. I still see them and feel sorry for them.

    Leaving school will bring you a whole new world and further education (you come across as fairly bright) will bring you in touch with people who usually want to be there. In school, many do not want to be there - and the bored ones, at best disrupt classes and at worse, make life hell for fellow pupils.

    So, look ahead. Life seems slow - but trust me and billions of others of older people when we say "No, its bloody fast!"

    So hang on in, be brave, try and find something you like and use education to keep you occupied. Maybe seek help IF you wake up tomorrow and the next day and so on - still feeling bad.

    People care about you - people you know.

    At your age, the best friend you will have will be your parents. Unless they are really wicked, then it would be their lives over if your was. They would never recover - every day you'll always think of them and can never let them go like other people can.

    Good luck and God bless from England.
     
  4. anasgirlx

    anasgirlx Well-Known Member

    Wow, thanks for actually reading and replying. I really appreciate it.

    And your words have touched me - especially about my parents. I'm sure they would be heartbroken and devastated if anything happened to me.

    I am bullied at school, but its about to the degree where I can stand it. I'm hoping that if I just focus on college, it'll get better.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. It has really helped me.
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Please don't give up hun. Do your best in school. :hug:
     
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    sorry things are bad now

    have you reported the bullying?


    hope you can make it through this!
     
  7. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    hey anasgirl, dont worry you're always welcome here, why are you feeling suicidal?
     
  8. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Ashley sorry to see your down again, but you know the cycle of depression, dont give in to it, the ride up is right around the corner. How have things been going at home? I hope you and your mom have been getting closer and have been able to talk openly more.

    Can you talk to someone about the bullying? I hate to see this in schools, kids can be so mean to eachother, please know it really has nothing to do with you, they are trying to hurt you to make themselves feel better, ironic huh, but true, dont let them win. You deserve to be happy just as much as you do, your life means just as much as thier lives do.

    I never get tired of hearing you so you can PM or text me anytime okay you need me, okay.

    Hope today is better than yesterday and tomorrow is better than today.
     
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