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Age gap

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Noneother1, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. Noneother1

    Noneother1 Active Member

    Okay so there is this guy that asked me out, the only problem is that he is alllllot older than me (btw im 13). He is really nice and he genuinly loves me, which I really need right now.
    Do you think I should go out with him?
  2. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    depends, how old is he?
  3. Noneother1

    Noneother1 Active Member

    he said he was 21
  4. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    to me that sounds really sketchy. sounds like you havent known him for too long since you only know from what he told you what his age was. which makes the him loving you doubtable.
    you being 13 makes it not only extremely dangerous for you but also illegal. i really hope you wont go out with him.
    his intentions are questionable and theres most likely nothing good coming from it. 21 wanting to go out with a 13 year old, sounds like a pedophile tbh
  5. Noneother1

    Noneother1 Active Member

    ohhh... it is illegal...i didnt know that...
    he said he loved me...
  6. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    Hate to say it but there is a good chance that you are being groomed by a sexual predator of some sorts.

    Well of course he is going say that... doesn't mean its true.
  7. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I've kind of had the same situation a couple of times, but I tend to know the people over the internet. Where did you meet this guy? I'm just curious.

    With me, it seemed to be more casual sex....they would have been only 9 years or so older than me(I'm 16) but I couldn't do it because of a few problems(self-esteem issues and I'd probly get to attached to the person).

    Age of consent in most places is 16, so you being with a 21 year old would be illegal. That being said, even if you were 15 and he was 17 it'd probly still be illegal(which is pretty dumb lol).

    So how do you know this guy? have you met him before etc?
  8. Noneother1

    Noneother1 Active Member

    I meet him on a chat site. And oc I have nvr gb met him irl.
  9. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    The only action there'd be to take with this guy is to report him to the police.
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    AARGH!! okay old fart here having a heart attack!!!

    Hun please please please get away from this guy.
    You need to be dating someone your own age and not some 21 year old who's probably a predator...especially if he knows your age.

    Hate to burst the bubble, but you are going to hear "I love you" from a lot of guys who just want to get into your knickers.
    Anyone who truly loves will you will wait until you are mature enough and ready for an adult relationship.
    It's lovely to hear someone declare their love, especially when you are going thru the horrors of the early teens.......I'm fat. I'm ugly...no one will love me, I maybe old but I remember it well.
    But honestly, 13 is too young for 21, expectations will be way beyond what you are ready for and sex is actually illegal; for a really good reason "YOU ARE TOO YOUNG!

    Step away from this predator and wait a while, some day someone will say they love you and mean it, even better, some day you will love them too.
  11. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    You need to stay away from this guy. He doesn't love you, he's just trying to manipulate you for sex. You'll find someone who really cares for you and wouldn't hurt you, who is closer to your age.
  12. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Have you seen this guy? For real I mean, like on a webcam? If if knows your age and wants a 13 year old that should tell you what he is like. Report him and block him. You will regret it for your whole life if you meet this guy. Find someone around your own age. I know it might be hard, but being with a predator is not a good choice. Please stay away from him :( I wish I could explain this better.
  13. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    he might even only say he was 21 so you meet up with him while hes really 50 just to be able to see you and to probably take you away from the crowd and force you to have sex with him. i dont want to go into detail but some people have some abnormal sexual preferences that that will put your life in danger!!!
    he will tell you anything to make you meet him and saying he loved you without even knowing you and, like the others said, knowing your age should be the big warning sign and tell you that hes bullshitting and has something else in mind.
    you said you needed some recognition right now but you dont know what he **needs**
    thats the kind of story you see on tv. he needs to be reported to the cops.
  14. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I strongly urge you not to date this man. As others here have said, it is extremely likely that this guy is only interested in one thing, which is to sleep with you or possibly cause harm to you in other ways. From what little you've said about him it seems that you don't really know him all that well and the fact that you've even made this thread goes to show that deep down you're having your doubts about this potential relationship.

    I know that as a young teenager you'll be tempted to do things you're not supposed to and go against what other people are trying to tell you to do, but your safety is at risk right now and that isn't worth the gamble.

    I've no doubt that it's lovely to hear somebody tell you he loves you and who seems to genuinely show an interest in you; but trust us when we say that there is a very high chance that this guy does not mean it. You're only 13, you've got the rest of your life to find guys who'll give you the affection you deserve, but this one is definitely not going to provide you with that.
  15. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    You're too young to be asking this question. If you were 30 and he was 38, that would make more sense. You're not really old enough to know the ins and outs of life. I think you're too vulnerable right now to take chances like that. We all here are trying to keep you safe. You may feel rebellious because you feel we're all know-it-alls. We can't stop that from happening. In the end, it's up to you. We can't stop you from what you do. But be careful because this is a dangerous world and a 13 year old is not prepared for it.
  16. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Whoa he's 21? And you're 13? :S

    Can I offer you some advice. Don't date anyone 16 or older right now, and I honestly think 16 is pushing it big time. Honestly, try and date people around your age.

    I don't know how say this to you without coming off as rude, but I hope you read this and then have a think about it later on to see if you understand where I am coming from.

    You're a teenager, still in high school. I don't want to say you're just a kid, because you are more than just a kid. You're a person who is living your own life and going through your own joys and issues. You're equal to everyone else, and you matter just like everyone else. You're entitled to everything like everyone else.
    Within reason.

    With that being said, You have to ratioanlly understand, you are still a child. No matter how aware and intelligent and grown up you may feel, or may be, You are still a very young person. To stick to a physical aspect, your body is still very much growing in itself, let alone your experience in life.

    He is 21 years old. It's not so much the year difference, it's the time in your lives that is the massive issue. You are just growing up, youre just experiencing things yourself and exploring your own feelings and life.

    He is... has already done this. Through his own ways and whatever, he is an adult. There is no justification for anyone that age talking to you in this way. This is manipulation at it's finest or extremely pure ignorance on his part. But more than likely even if he played the ignorance card, it's another aspect of manipulation for him to get what he wants. And believe me, if he actually "loved" you, he would .. well for starters he'd have the brains to not talk to you or anyone your age. I can guarantee you it's not you who he cares about. That fact may hurt, it may not, but it's the truth, and im sorry to be so blunt about it.

    There are lines that you need to draw for yourself, to protect yourself.
    You do not need an adult in your life like this to feel important or to feel validated for who you are. Or to share who you are in any shape or form.

    Ug, im rambelling, it's difficult to write something that will get you to stop and see this flat out for what it is. I would highly suggest doing something that seems overboard and dodgy, and that is going to the police or at the very least, informing your parents or someone that you trust.
    It's to protect you, and ultimately anyone else that may get into his way. Even if he's just ignorant to the situation, he needs a refresher into what he is doing.
  17. TheOncomingStorm

    TheOncomingStorm Well-Known Member

    I was 15/16 and hooked up with a guy i met on here who was 20..now 21 ...He was a predator, and I wasn't the first and im sure i weren't the last either. So be careful not all people are who they makeout to be... the internet is a good place for pretending to be someone your not

    ELLIEANDMONKEY Well-Known Member

    Nope. It's illegal so don't go there. Bottom line. Be friends at most and even then keep it very very simple.
  19. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't if I were you. He could be a predator just pretending to be your friend. I've had it happen to me before with an older guy from a chat site when I was your age.
  20. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Id like to re-emphasise that you need to stay away from him. Not be friends, not generally chit chat, but break off all communications with him.
    I think some of the advice given here is too soft handed to be honest.