Agoraphobia!

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by FoundAndLost1, Jun 5, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Once independent
    and at ease,
    at peace with my own company,
    four walls were but my sanctuary;
    Now the hermit
    self-imposed through time
    Buried in this hole
    bound up and now confined,
    in thoughts and words
    imprisoned
    Freedom turned to burden
    where my mind’s become my enemy
    Plagued by unrest and endless worry
    that I will have to go outside
    And oh, how all I wish to do is hide
    Terror, constant, stalks me
    and old courage only mocks me
    as the inevitable,
    upheaval,
    will not
    be denied...



    Background: Through years now, of chaos, turmoil and tragedy, I only ended up with one nerve left…
    I used to be a very organized and competent person, and I was able to find peace, but I’m now a human train-wreck. My finances also in the toilet, I’ve been forced to sell my house (it – gulp – sold in less than 2 weeks – either a “meant-to-be” or to surely kill me with the speed!) I’ve been here 13 years, and the house is full of bad memories – and I try to tell myself I do this for me, that it will give me some freedom in the end (it will)– but the thought of MORE upheaval (as moving always is - in the best of circumstances) just truly chills my blood. I can't sleep - I do not know how I’ll cope. I guess the poem is for anyone who misses who they used to be, as for those who are forced to do something they positively dread…

    FAL1
     
  2. smotherman

    smotherman Member

    Just wanted to return the favor, Thanks so much for the comment in my post.

    You've a way with words,I'm just a amateur compared to most of these poets.I love this piece, amazing piece FAL1 thanks for sharing!
     
  3. Dude...
    Listen up -

    An "amateur" (and i use the term loosely) does what they do with just as much love and dedication as a "pro" - without "agenda" (as pro's may be prone to). Your stuff rawks.

    Okay?

    Okay.
    (and thankx)

    FAL1
     
  4. smotherman

    smotherman Member

    Sorry! no I didn't mean to denounce my work and say my stuff is not okay! I just meant that as a compliment, so many great poets here and amazing pieces from you all.

    once again thanks!
     
  5. ...only difference, far as I'm concerned, is that some share, and some do not - which is ALWAYS a poet's prerogative. I'm grateful to no end for this place, and honour those who share (it's not everyone's cup o' tea to do so - honouring them as well). There's power unseen - and perhaps unimagined - in letting it out.

    Horrid and troublesome as it is to deal with them, demons that have names and words can no longer so easily hide, wreaking their otherwise secret havoc.

    MHO

    I've long said that 'sweeping things under the rug', merely makes for a very lumpy rug...

    Why your expressions, as all else, are indeed welcome - savoured in fact.

    FAL1
     
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi FAl1..how true...I long to find my grace again, and mourn terribly its loss...I long to be about something other than 'keeping on', moments of time used with abandon, and a sense of self not horrifically attached to what could have been...I long to feel the breeze on my back, and not have it trigger something, as if the wretched movie in my mind is on an eternal loop...I know the place of remembering 'what was' as well as I know who I am today...I hear your words...big hugs, Jackie
     
  7. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    :heart: this
     
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Gabs miss you terribly!!!! It's so hard to read your words. The words that once inspired me, now only draw up such an empty place that you once filled. RIP.
     
  9. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I really liked this poem. I can relate to it, because I'm always stuck inside my room. Afraid of interacting with people...

    I don't quite have agoraphobia, but I do get self-concious with other people.

    I really like the wording here, especially at the end. I especially liked "Freedom turned to burden", it sums up the message well.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.