Anyone else feel like they want to be alone? I mean utterly alone. No people in your life or around you what so ever. I constantly feel like this. Relationships are nice but in the end people are just such a frustrating pressure on your body, your heart, your mind, and if you believe in metaphysics...your soul. I wish I could just go somewhere far away from this society and just be free of all the world's troubles and responsibilities. People expect me to be a man but I honestly feel like I could never really take care of myself on my own. I'm just such a weak mess and my mental state doesn't exactly help me. Sometimes it gets so bad I can't even answer the phone or leave the house because I just don't want to be with anyone, communicate or do anything. People call me lazy but I don't think that is the right word for it. I just have no motivation or energy to do things and hell even if I muster up some small amount of strength I'm still not able to finish what I start. Perhaps I should just go to a hospital and commit myself because I honestly think I'll end up in one sooner or later permanently. I don't want to take pills for the rest of my life and I don't want to cry anymore over stupid things I can't control by my own hands. Plus the worst thing is I feel like such a burden on others and it is such a terrible feeling to feel that way. To feel like you are a worthless waste of time and effort. When you give up on yourself you readily expect others to give up on you as well. But when they don't you just feel so guilty for being the mess you are. Love is warped into slavery. Bah my throat is so sore.....I hate this.