Ah sweet Misery.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BioHomocide, Apr 1, 2010.

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  1. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Anyone else feel like they want to be alone? I mean utterly alone. No people in your life or around you what so ever. I constantly feel like this.

    Relationships are nice but in the end people are just such a frustrating pressure on your body, your heart, your mind, and if you believe in metaphysics...your soul. I wish I could just go somewhere far away from this society and just be free of all the world's troubles and responsibilities. People expect me to be a man but I honestly feel like I could never really take care of myself on my own. I'm just such a weak mess and my mental state doesn't exactly help me. Sometimes it gets so bad I can't even answer the phone or leave the house because I just don't want to be with anyone, communicate or do anything. People call me lazy but I don't think that is the right word for it. I just have no motivation or energy to do things and hell even if I muster up some small amount of strength I'm still not able to finish what I start.

    Perhaps I should just go to a hospital and commit myself because I honestly think I'll end up in one sooner or later permanently. I don't want to take pills for the rest of my life and I don't want to cry anymore over stupid things I can't control by my own hands. Plus the worst thing is I feel like such a burden on others and it is such a terrible feeling to feel that way. To feel like you are a worthless waste of time and effort. When you give up on yourself you readily expect others to give up on you as well. But when they don't you just feel so guilty for being the mess you are. Love is warped into slavery.

    Bah my throat is so sore.....I hate this.
  2. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Are you into metaphysics?
  3. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Well I do have tarot cards. :laugh: But I don't believe in god or anything but I do believe in reincarnation to some degree and that souls do exist but there is no heaven or hell and when you die your soul leaves your flesh and returns to the earth to be born into something else.
  4. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    so you do believe in "interconnectedness?" reincarnation is part of metaphysics. Metaphysics the fundamentals principles of how things are connected........
  5. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Yes I believe everything is connected to some extent. It's simple logic.

    I just hate the whole God thing though. I hate hell, I hate heaven. I see the soul as energy. When you die your energy returns to the earth and is transformed into another facet of using and expressing that energy.
  6. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    me too......soul is energy......have you thought about seeing people this way......using your innate multi sensory system to interact rather than use the mind?
  7. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Well do you mean like through sight? I use touch as a way to communicate with people. A simple touch of the hand can mean a thousand words.

    But hmm I'm not that knowledgeable in metaphysics. I was a pagan for a while though. :laugh:
  8. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Exactly! We're in society that we always think we have to say something or do do do......like a to do list is healthy........sometimes the most important information and wisdom is thru ....doing nothing.......allowing info to surface.

    Touch of a hand, your right...priceless. In fact, that gesture alone is commonly used in sales.....successful sales are closed thru such gestures.
  9. VonBlown

    VonBlown Well-Known Member

    I feel just like you biohomocide. Can't get anything done, everything bothers me. Cept I have a lot of medical problems I haven't been able to solve that makes me feel that way.

    I do believe in god/jesus, but since I've been sick I am confused about everything.
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