I feel so indecisive... I have to decide whether I should take a leave of absence from my university or not. If I do it, I can't re-register for at least a year... I don't know what to do. I should talk to my parents about it, but i can't. I already lied to them and said I'm doing fine. But in reality I failed every class last fall, my cumulative GPA is now below 2.0 and I'm on the verge of failing out. Fuck. I can't believe how fucking stupid I am... I'm on my campus now and just looking around, it makes me sick to my stomach. Thinking of what might have been. Most of my friends that went to college have graduated by now, and those that haven't are working at much better jobs than me. They are going to think I'm a god damned joke if i drop out now, i have been going to college over 5 years... 5 years and Ive got shit to show for it! All of it worth absolutely nothing. I didn't accomplish a damn thing, I didnt make a single friend, I didnt learn shit, all I did was flush my time and money down the drain. And I hated every minute of it.. just being here makes me wish i could just run away and hide somewhere, or kill myself in a place where no one would ever find me. I don't even have any marketable skills or career options. And you know what, fuck my parents anyway. They've never treated me like a human being in my entire life. They fucking order me around and criticize and yell at me like I'm some pet animal. I can't do anything without looking like a failure in their eyes. The same is true of my brother. He's in high school and got all As on his last report card, except for one class which he got a D. So of course all they did was yell at him for getting the D. What pieces of shit. You know, I used to avoid killing myself just to keep them from being miserable. Now I want to live just long enough to see them dead. Unfortunatly, hating them doesnt make my life any better.