I remember the good old days of the Mafiosa. Working for Don Cupholderelli's family. There were so many great guys, honorable, decent guys. There was Frankie Artichokes, Vinnie Venetian Blinds, Petey Ravioli, Tommy Toaster Oven, Joey Orthopedic Bed. There was the wheelman, Luigi Bathroom Fixture, and his brother Frank The Letch. Frank was blind in both eyes but could ice a guy with one shot. Sometimes, he got the right guy the first time. Eh, what you gonna do? Bada bing, bada boom. There was the time that Don Champagneglassi tried to take over the Don's turf. He brought up his wiseguys from Louisiana, where he had cornered the pelican farming racket. There was a shootout on 8th street, and Joey Orthopedic Bed took one in the noggin, bless his soul. Frank The Letch was firing off in all directions, and nailed eight of Champagneglassi's men. Unfortunately, he also offed five of ours. Frankie Artichokes outed with a machine gun and got covered by Vinnie Venetian Blinds, who had commandeered an Apache helicopter from the army. Hey, fuhgeddabout it. Champagneglassi's men were chewed to pieces, and he was crawling away on his belly when Tommy Toaster Oven and Joey 12-Speed Vibrator caught up with him and gave him a little nightcap, in the shape of a couple of slugs in the back of the head. Hey, sleep that off, wiseguy. Forgetabout it. Bada bing, bada boom, Bing Crosby, Sid Crosby, Crosby Stills and Nash, Nash Bridges, Jeff Bridges, Bridges of Madison County, Madison, WI, wherever you were, you heard about Don Cupholderelli on that day.