holy cow, I have been so angry today. my buddy in canada that i know over xbox live talked me into purchasing nhl09, which i though would cheer me up, perhaps spark back up the passion i once had for video games, but i just cannot do it anymore. everytime i play video games i feel like chucking my xbox out of my window and punching my television set. i have been so angry lately, and have been suppressing it, which i know is not good, but i have no way to vent because my parents would begin to freak out, and i don't want to upset them, but at the same time, i am tired of the 'do as we say, not as we do' spiel. I am 19 for christ's sakes! do i even have to put up with this nonsense? but where else would i be able to go? i have to stay there, at least for the time being. i dropped out of school because i realized that that institution has been depressing me, making me think that i am not good enough and that i need to strive and strive and keep f***ing striving! F**K THAT! i am tired of it. now my ma keeps getting on me about things that need to not be rushed. i hate rushing into things. i have done that too much, and am tired of it. and i feel like shit because i got angry at my canadian friend because of my shit mood, and i apologized to him for that, but it is hard to keep myself from getting so angry because i can be a very literal person, which tends to bring down the mood when i am around people, which in turn, depresses me further because i feel like a nuisance. GAAAH! it felt good to get that little bit of irrelevant information off of my chest.