Ahhhhhhhhhh

[Zebrasinamerica]

My fiance left me after 3 1/2 years together right before we were going to start planning our wedding. She has done nothing but try and make me feel like shit. Right now all I want to do is go over to her house and let her see my wrist that I cut last night to relieve some pain and stress right before I shoot myself in her bedroom.

In college I was very suicidal, I got to the point where atleast 3 times a day I would be sitting in my dorm room and I could see the blood running down my my hand and dripping off of my fingers on the cold white floor. Since I got with her I have not had this "daydream" or "illusion" but now that she has left me I am having it and it is getting more and more frequent by the day. I really have no idea what to do, the only person keeping me alive right now is my puppy and I just don't want her to lose her mom and her dad but the urges are building. I'm bipolar and I can not control myself any longer.

Zebra

 

[MrDepressed]

I sure hope that you do not go through with that thought.. wow.. do you have any community supports? anyone that you can talk to, to get some of this off of your chest?..

 

[Zebrasinamerica]

I don't know who to talk to, thats how I found this board. I find that the act of telling someone my problems outloud pushes me over that edge 10 times faster but typing my issues seems to get a lot of the stress out of my life. It usually comes back but atleast it is gone for a bit.

Zebra

 

[Aquariamethystea]

:hug: Zebras. I understand how horrible it is to be left by someone you love. I've had the experience of it this week, and it is an awful feeling. I hope you are able to cope through this, and if you'd like to talk with me, I'll talk with you.