AJ's Poetry

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by AJ23, Jul 20, 2007.

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  1. AJ23

    AJ23 Member

    In no order, here are a bunch possibly all, of my poems

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Blink
    ==========================
    Everytime i blink,
    it is of cuts and blood i think,
    it's pain that i can see,
    dying to escape from me,
    from my veins to the floor,
    i will feel once more.


    Bed Times
    ============================================
    the things he takes when he goes to bed,
    as he hides his wrists behind his head,
    he holds them while he is asleep,
    they take him from this world, where he is hurt so deep,
    a blade in one hand, and in the other some pills,
    they help him forget that pain is real,
    and as the tears flow from his veins,
    he somewhat feels at home again,
    and thus in which this poem now states,
    the solution to the problem is the problem so great,
    for as it's now time to go to sleep,
    he ponders what lies ahead, inside his heart weeps.



    AJ and Mink's Worlds
    =======================================
    the phone rings, the door bells
    your sister cries, your mother yells
    do you understand the story i tell?
    these things alike inside my hell
    the sun rises, the moon glows
    my parents hate me, and it shows
    for as much as time it flows
    these things are real i know

    -

    there is hope, there is hate
    now i pray for us, it's to late
    hold me now ill keep you safe
    we belong together our love so great

    -

    your dog barks, the gate creaks
    your dad yells, you freak
    it's okay we will be safe
    as long as we're together I'll shield you from his hate
    the sun sets, your moon goes,
    your friends demand, no feelings shown
    keep it inside and remember not to feel
    it's okay my minky with me you are real

    -

    my story told as written above,
    things so normal, like phones and dogs
    are accompanied by things that are sad
    things that are evil, hatred so bad
    just as much as the sun sets,
    as much as time flows,
    we are beseeched with terror, alone,
    but now we are together, someone understands
    we can save each other, just take my hand.



    Blasphemy
    ==========================
    sweet blasphemy
    it has not rained in years
    i bring to you
    this offering
    of crimson tears
    blood is my Saviour
    vanquish all my fears
    be with me forever
    until the darkness clears



    Hate love relationship
    =====================
    I HATE HER
    I HATE ME
    I HATE LOVE
    I HATE LIFE

    I LOVE BLOOD
    I LOVE TEARS
    I LOVE PAIN
    I LOVE KNIFE



    Vivid Red Lines
    ============================
    Little Red Lines,
    Everywhere You Can't See,
    Forty Three Red Lines,
    They Decorate Me,
    four little words,
    they break the heart you see,
    three little words,
    pick it up again with glee,
    blinded by your hope,
    the lies with which you cope,
    until you find the truth,
    and then you find a rope,
    the final test you see,
    is to count to three,
    waiting for her call,
    sitting, hurting me.



    lying in my bed
    =====================
    lying in my bed,
    pillows on my head,
    blanket on my face,
    tell myself I'm dead,

    emptiness i feel,
    feelings i must steal,
    feelings from this music,
    even though they are not real,

    out of my room i crawl now,
    off to check the house,
    everyones awake now,
    alive it is this house,

    belong here i do not,
    for anger i do feel,
    to bring the others down,
    good feelings i would steal,

    let a little out,
    maybe they'll understand,
    no no no its not good,
    noone understands,

    back inside i go now,
    close the door behind,
    back in bed i go now,
    a lapse in life and time,

    there is no time,
    there is no life,
    under these sheets,
    just me and this knife,

    this empty room,
    cut off from this world,
    hide now in your mind,
    inside the darkness curl,

    turn out all the lights,
    turn on all your music,
    imagine you are flying,
    forget that you are dying



    URGES
    ===========
    I'm shaking
    I'm worried
    I'm scared
    it hurts

    I'm anxious
    I'm waiting
    the urges
    get worse

    i cry
    i curl
    i hide
    i scream

    i fight
    i try
    but I'm scared
    help me



    Eyes

    ========================
    the place i go
    where i cant see
    the place i feel
    closing in on me

    its dark its warm
    its cold its bright
    forever changing
    though forever night

    shudder and twitch
    it washes over me
    close my eyes
    open them gently

    the world has changed
    and so have i
    everything's a threat
    everybody lies

    trust is not a word
    trust is a memory
    love is a lie
    love is the enemy

    glancing and scanning
    looking for clues
    will they understand me?
    or just another using fool

    someone i know is there
    someone is talking
    calling my name again
    calling and calling

    trying to return
    trying now to see
    trying to accept
    reality

    push back the lies
    the ones said in my head
    ignoring paranoia
    putting it to bed

    shake it off and throw it
    blink and breathe and see
    calm the one who's calling
    "there's nothing wrong with me"



    Rhyme
    =============
    drip
    drops
    splats
    runs

    stains
    rains
    blood
    fun



    Shatter me
    =========================
    i wish i was truly broken
    from the inside to the out
    i want to fall to pieces
    i want to scream and shout

    this feeling thats inside
    this pain is hard to hide
    I've finally run out of energy
    to keep this secret in my stride

    and now i wish to break apart
    and tear open my scared heart
    shatter myself on your floor

    pick me up if you will
    but for reasons beyond me
    beyond me they are still

    i cannot go on lying
    soon the world will see
    that i am not superhuman
    I'm damaged and broken
    a not so perfect me

    so grab yourself a seat
    and put on your judgmental face
    because He cannot continue hiding
    that he has fallen from grace



    scream
    =============================
    you yell outside my head,
    that evil noise i dread,
    and as you lay down your head,
    awake i lay instead

    i cannot sleep anymore
    I'm curled up on the floor
    the urges they now call
    blood runs down the walls

    the terror it now builds
    my darkest fear forfilled

    stuck within my mind
    lost all the time

    triggered in a trance
    waiting for the chance

    you'll never go away
    the screaming it will stay

    i stand up off the floor
    i run and close the door

    tuck myself into bed
    beat myself in the head

    your voice echoes in my ears
    forces out the tears

    blades by my side
    surely its my time

    bracing for the sting
    the one and only thing

    to save me from this hell
    this hell in which i fell

    time to go away
    no will to stay
    if only you had loved me
    i would of lived another day



    Krux
    ========================
    i really see no help
    i really see no way out

    i once used to exist here
    in the krux of the scream and shout

    i used to be the mediator
    sorting the problems out

    everything rests on me
    my mother and sister and father three

    their problems are mine
    their lives are free

    but everything they do
    for them my soul bleeds

    its out of my hands now
    i cannot take this abuse

    forgotten the days when i was a hero
    now i am just destroyed and used

    no help for me i find
    in the arms of my saved

    they do not return the favor
    they wish to see me disgraced

    so with every word they throw me
    so sharp so cold with haste

    i fall and a flounder in mixed feelings of love and hate
    i can no longer love them this i cannot escape

    i see no help
    i see no way out

    forever abused and beaten
    in the krux of the scream and shout



    Urge without reason
    =============================================
    is it a crime to want to bleed
    when it is something you do not need?
    when the pain all goes away
    and the taste for blood still stays?

    because i miss the way it feels
    and i miss the way it stings
    i miss the way it would hold me when everyone's missing

    should i feel wrong to urge tonight
    if without reason is it not right?
    maybe for now without blood i will stay
    cuts they will hold me another day

    time to sleep again, to rest my hand and pen.



    Music Darkness Gloom
    ==========================
    locked inside my room,
    music darkness gloom,
    i can be myself,
    no longer on the shelf,
    their eye's do not wander,
    so i can lye bare,
    nothing to hide red lines that are there



    As long as i live
    ===========================
    music on repeat,
    can't stop tapping my feet,
    it's not enthusiasm,
    it's more like muscle spasm,
    brain racing, grind,
    leaving me behind,
    flashing images in my head,
    make me think of seeing red,
    punishment for what I've done,
    a thousand times over one,
    to add up for her pain,
    feel the sting again,
    no use to forgive,
    I'll hurt the world, as long, as i live



    To Isabel
    =========================
    it's amazing how we can relate,
    worlds so the same, full of self hate,
    i know how you feel,
    as do you know for me,
    but how do we now,
    both of us be free?

    thus salvation is far away,
    it seems in hell we have to stay,
    with our lives, we shall play,
    take a chance,
    take it half way,
    scars are my friends and family,
    they never go away,
    through darkness they'll will stay,
    to live with us in harmony,
    forever another day.



    Her last breath
    ===================================================
    My girl feels like dying,
    at night i find her crying,
    tears of salt and crimson too,
    i do not know what i should do,

    she was unconscious the other night
    i couldn't wake her, it gave me a fright
    i shook her opened her eyes and splashed water on her face
    it was as if she was dead, but with pulse, and a smile,on her face

    when i woke her she did not have her memory,
    and she kept seeing things that i didn't see
    i called an ambulance,
    and they treated us horridly,

    they lied to the nurses and said that she tried,
    took all her meds and trying to die,
    but when i finally saw her and told the truth,
    and how was she to know whilst her brain is aloof?

    they tested her and said she would be fine,
    and that her memory would return, only with time
    we waited and waited to finally be piked up
    once home we went to sleep, silently, drug fucked,

    it was not her fault to nearly leave me
    she didn't know that meds mixed could end fatally,
    battered and broken desperately tired, we hugged we held we talked we cried
    but the one thing she said to me that sticks in my mind
    that makes me unhappy, makes me feel not so fine

    is that when she was so close to her death
    it made her smile inside
    she finally thought she be free
    her last breath
    she'd leave
    she'd die
     
  2. AJ23

    AJ23 Member

    Kinda Sharp, It's Art
    ==========================
    i don't make sense and that's okay, i knew i wasn't meant to exist anyway, slip into this world just as i slipped out, brought back to life, and broken without a doubt, body stands the test of time, so far anyway, but it runs on it's last limb as it slowly burns away, so i guess I'm saying something that i knew all along, my inside is evil and to it's song i sing along, so when I'm acting crazy, or lock things up from you, I'm afraid of effecting the world. and hurting a person or two, but if it is achieved, punishment will be dealt, and the chaos in my head, will become something felt, it's a little odd at first, feels cold and kinda sharp, but when you get down to business, it's warm and runs, it's art



    Fuck i screwed it
    ==============================
    your away and alone
    inside your "home"
    it's too late to sleep
    too late to bleed

    afraid of tomorrow
    afraid as you always are
    knowing that sleeping
    without her is hard

    your bed is cold
    your bed is new
    your mind is crazy
    your feelings astrew

    gone with the sin
    but only in your head
    worried that reality
    is not far from dead

    trying to write
    trying to feel
    i know this poem sucks
    but it's all i can do

    so i guess it's time to face the music
    you need to go to bed

    alone

    aw shit no more words that rhyme,

    fuck i screwed it!@!@#$



    Pretty little heads

    ============================
    pretty little heads
    line my window sill
    i chopped up your family
    i used a dentist drill

    staring at my bed
    from other side of the room
    pretty little heads
    bring forth darkness and gloom

    they hold the souls
    of those i have slain
    they are like a magnet
    for evil and pain

    5 little heads
    pretty and small
    5 points of the star
    drawn on the floor

    pretty burning heads
    light them all up
    burn them and conjure
    you enemies bad luck

    cast it and close it
    and brush away the dust
    pretty little heads
    for more i now lust



    One Two Three;

    ================================

    one two three,
    i watch it run from me,
    over my skin and to the floor,
    i watch it glisten with glee,
    somehow i feel home,
    somehow i feel free,
    this feeling is wonderful,
    this feeling is me,
    face the truth,
    its quarter past three,
    i must go home,
    i must clean up in case they see,
    into the toilets i run just in case,
    someone sees the blood dripping,
    now i must make haste,
    turn on the water,
    so cold so sore,
    make it all clean,
    make everything alright once more,
    wait till it clots,
    till the dripping stops,
    pull down my sleeves,
    and walk to the bus stop,
    pay the driver,
    do not twitch,
    do not squirm,
    it doesn't hurt,
    it's all a dream,
    it isn't there,
    to the back of the bus,
    for one final stare,
    stroke them,
    feel them,
    remember that they're there,
    cover up again,
    and press the bell for the next stop,
    get off the bus in silence
    and walk home past the shops,
    wave to all the people,
    people who say hi,
    fake a smile,
    talk a while,
    until they're gone
    say goodbye,
    you make it home,
    you hear the screams,
    relatives are fighting,
    never ending it seems,
    sneak into your bedroom,
    turn the music on,
    close the door lye down
    and scream, as the pain hits you once more,
    you check your arms for red lines,
    they smile at you,
    bring peace,
    until your door is opened,
    peace shattered,
    no relief,
    your in a fight you didn't start,
    and now your out the door,
    with nothing, but a blade in hand,
    a discman, sitting on the driveway floor,
    you walk onto the road, and lye down there instead,
    you wonder what it feels like,
    what it mean to truly be dead,
    this isn't the first time,
    you've lay yourself to die,
    but once again you lay here,
    lay here whilst you cry,
    you bring the blade upon your skin,
    last resort no hope is found,
    crying because its come to this,
    crying on the harsh road ground,
    you get up onto the island,
    where the tree's divide the road,
    you slash until you cant feel no more,
    and lie against the tree,
    hide your cuts not on show,
    no one comes to save you,
    the blood is getting thick,
    theres nothing you can do now,
    you start to feel sick,
    you listen to the songs you know,
    reminds you the things you love,
    and then while they eat at you heart,
    out of know where its all stopped,
    by one little shove,
    a tap on the shoulder,
    a stranger is there,
    she asks what is wrong,
    why am i sitting here,
    i show her my problem,
    all over myself,
    all over my bag,
    and my discman,
    she yelped,
    she shows me her wrists,
    said she did it too,
    its gonna be okay,
    if i come with her soon,
    stand i try,
    and try i do,
    but strength is below me,
    broken no longer new,
    but somewhere inside,
    somewhere there's hope,
    and up from my blood puddle i climb,
    and follow her home,
    she clean up my arms,
    and gets me a drink,
    i sit their in silence,
    nothing to say,
    nothing to think,
    i begin to realize,
    i must face the consequence,
    return to the screaming,
    and try my luck at defense,
    thanks for the compassion,
    but now i must leave,
    for to live another day,
    means to live in agony,
    i reach home "where were you?"
    oh now it seems she cares,
    the yelling has stopped,
    and yet she is unaware,
    tell her i cannot
    for that would make her scream again,
    bottle it inside
    hide my only friend,
    try to act "normal"
    be "me" again,
    it last for long enough,
    until i let my guard down,
    she will see the truth,
    and screaming will sound,
    broken and battered,
    in which screaming i cannot cope,
    i cry for her silence,
    i cry for some hope,
    hours into the morning,
    my tears still fall,
    im picking her up now,
    from the kitchen floor,
    i tuck her into bed,
    and make suer she's okay,
    and for some strange reason,
    i hope she lives another day,
    i finally fine my peace,
    in the pitch black silent room,
    i fall to sleep peacefully,
    exhausted by the moon,
    the next day i awake,
    scared as scared can be,
    worried that she's woken,
    worried that she'd see,
    another set of screaming,
    how i am the worst child,
    my sister is the golden one,
    i though am too wild,
    unfortunately the night before,
    in her mind is forgot,
    where after all I'd been through,
    help from me she got,
    my sister did not notice,
    my sister did not care,
    my sister had the pleasure,
    of sleeping unaware,
    but once again half broken,
    i take another fall,
    another emotional beating,
    i take for one and all,
    i pack my bag for school now,
    my books,
    my music,
    my knife,
    i pack it all inside me,
    i pack away my life,
    i walk alone in rainfall,
    no friends to follow me,
    i arrive at school shattered,
    now its plain to see,
    its too hard now to hide it,
    its too hard to be "me",
    i am whatever comes out,
    i am all what they knew they'd see,
    and send my to the psyke they do,
    and once again with glee,
    she sends me to the nurse again,
    to talk criticizingly,
    roughly treated,
    and pulled around,
    my injuries are "cared" for,
    a taxi called,
    the hospital knows,
    what I'm coming in for,
    i reach the door, and walk inside,
    and there i see my mum,
    crying like she cares,
    well then she shouldn't of got so drunk,
    i walk right by, and pass the nurses,
    and into ward 17,
    back again i say hello,
    to my friends and ask how they've been,
    suddenly the pain it strikes and i fall to the floor,
    everything is turning black,
    everything peaceful once more,
    i wake up now, in a bed,
    with bandages everywhere,
    and without no feeling so numb inside,
    all i can do is stare,
    at the wall, at my feet,
    at the machines that beep,
    and of course at the blood on my arms,
    i must of been serious,
    because bleeding is still on charge,
    i sigh with the knowledge that it will all happen again,
    that the screaming wont stop and the urges will win,
    that ill be used for my kindness, and spat out in the end,
    tired as i lay there, again i fall to sleep,
    everything is peaceful,
    as for happiness i dream.



    The silence is broken
    (a poem about silent hill)

    =================================
    rusty and ragged
    red and brown
    a fog drifts across
    the broken town

    demons you'll see there
    children will cry
    lost are you loved ones
    maybe you'll die

    searching in the dark
    searching in the fog
    grab a metal pole
    here's a double headed dog

    into the school now
    is your daughter there?
    what are these sirens?
    what are there stairs?

    grasp your head in pain
    it is happening again
    black out in the madness
    evil now reigns

    wake up now where are you
    silent hill is gone
    woken up in hell
    hear the devils song

    searching for you daughter
    god is now reborn
    born out of the darkness
    you must kill the hell spawn

    sacrifice your daughter
    for the sake of mankind
    her life must be taken
    whilst you lose your mind

    kindness is granted
    Alessa will give
    a new born baby
    heather will live

    Cheryl is gone now
    Alessa is too
    the silence is broken
    harry has not a clue

    for when heather grows up
    mother of god she will be
    and harry fate is will be the same
    as Alessa Gillepsi



    the death of Lisa garland
    (another poem about silent hill)

    ======================================

    you've gotten a job
    a nurse you will be
    Alchemilia hospital
    central silent hill
    is where you will work
    help others that are ill

    Alessa is sick
    Alessa is ill
    Alessa is burnt
    to live not is her will

    die she shall not
    for powers beyond control
    keep her alive
    you pay the toll

    slipped in your drink
    white Claudia you sink
    now you cannot
    you cannot now think

    control of you they take
    and use you as their slave
    keep Alessa alive
    use her power for the devils save

    Alessa body is burnt and broken
    the birth of god is their goal
    Cheryl must be summoned
    the god Cheryl will now hold

    the cult combines the two
    harry knows what he must do
    for if the god of the order is born
    earth will descend to hell
    and all that the world knows
    all its pain will be never be known so well

    in hell now you live,
    trapped in this room,
    blood drips from the walls,
    sirens serenade the screams with each step you now fall

    harry enters you realm,
    and give you some hope,
    he speaks of stopping this evil,
    and you tell him Kaufman's and dahlia's will,

    but Alessa grows weak, and her powers are gone
    protected you aren't, the lights now are gone
    blood rains from your eyes, and to the floor you
    fall, you cry and reach out, as harry looks away in
    terror, the death of Lisa garland, avenged will be forever

    not tomorrow
    not tomorrow



    James
    (yet another poem about silent hill)

    ========================================

    you receive a letter
    it can't be her
    she is dead
    it can't be her

    the letter it says
    to go the hill it says
    I'm waiting here for you
    in our special place
    to silent hill you go
    you search among to people, for Mary's face

    stop to take a breath
    look into the mirror
    "Mary, could you really be in this town"
    you say to yourself, you look on with a frown

    the roads are blocked off noone can get in
    through the woods you walk, you search
    but carry sin

    for Mary you look
    but Laura you find
    she helps you to the hospital
    where Mary is confined

    you search and search but never find Mary you will
    because you killed Mary long ago
    and to remember it is in itself a skill

    maria now you find, out there by the lake
    she looks just like Mary, do not make that mistake

    executed she is now, and again and again, times 3
    relive her death now James, feel the pain you deserve
    you murdered Mary, and sent yourself the letter to be cursed

    within the town you see, the evil you have done
    you will now repent your sins and then be gone
    the evil now consumes you consumes the town as well
    make peace now with god, beg to undo this spell

    letters from silent heaven, the words ring in your ears, everything is peaceful now, both dead together, no tear​
     
  3. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    I doubt youll ever get feedback posting them all at once, it overwhelms your reader, even if they did read them all they would not take time to consider your expression so it would be pointless.

    Perhaps you just wanted somewhere to record them? But if you wanted thoughtful replies Id suggest you repost them, or post on a poetry forum
     
  4. AJ23

    AJ23 Member

    aren't you the buzzkill
     
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :clap: Wow, it took awhile to read all of those. You are very good at poetry. There are so many it's hard to get it all in at once, but they are really good. Great expression for sure. Thank you so much for sharing you're poems with us. :biggrin: :hug:
     
  6. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    well done :)
     
  7. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    Talent...

    These are pretty good. =)
     
  8. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    Theres no need to be rude about it, I run a poetry forum I was giving you a suggestion so that your poetry would get more thorough comments, I was trying to help..

    Whatever.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 21, 2007
  9. AJ23

    AJ23 Member

    sorry, understand that now, i don't think i was in a suitable mood to be replying that night
     
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