Im addicted to alcohol and I know it but I dont want to stop drinking at all. I know being addicted to alcohol is bad. I know what it does to my body. It seems like its the only way I can get to sleep and stay asleep though and not be up in half an hour. Its the only way I can wind down after work. Its the only thing that makes bad memories go away. I started drinking a couple of years ago and its only gotten worse. I drink every single night until I'm pretty tipsy. I don't drink until I vomit but it is quite a bit. I dont drink hard things just beer and wine mainly. I can down 5 or 6 beers each night and still be fairly alert. I can drink 2, maybe 3 bottles of wine in a sitting and I'm still okay. I know it isn't good for my body but I dont want to stop. If anything I wish it would do me in and then I wouldn't have to worry about damages on my body from excessive alcohol. I drink until I can really FEEL me being drunk. I recorded myself a few nights and purposely talked and I know I drink a lot because I slur my words heavily long before I'm finished. I have broken a shelf in the place I live because of the times I've fallen against it in my drunken state. I dont have friends. I dont have family. Im just here, alone. I've been here, alone, for quite some time now. I guess what I'm saying is Is it really so bad to do this to myself, knowing it isn't affecting anyone else? If it is horribly bad then what do I do? Im happy this way.