Alcohol and Anger

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Forget2Trust, May 13, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Forget2Trust

    Forget2Trust Active Member

    I might be a bit delusional. Who knows at this point. And, no. Alcohol DIDN'T cause the delusions or paranoia. I drink alcohol, because I'm addicted. Plus, it helps alleviate the paranoia. Not the delusions though. They're here to stay. Anyway, I drink by myself for more than one reason. For one, I have no one else to drink with. Haven't had friends since... O o....Hmmm. I had drug buddies in high school, because I had a car. Since then I've had boyfriends. Well, my ex and I broke up in December 2010, and I've been drinking alone everyday since then. He didn't drink, so I guess I've drank alone for a while. At least he was there. Anyway, now , my surroundings have changed quite a bit. He was helping me with all my living expenses for quite some time even after he moved out. Then he stopped. I went crazy due to stress I guess, and ended up in jail. The charge was dismissed, because I went to the hospital. I lost my apartment, and now I live at home. It hasn't been easy considering we (my family and I) had hardly any contact for two or so years due to my ex. Back to my point, I drink alone, and I prefer it that way, I guess. I don't really know. I guess my concern is my anger. I have drank for quites some time, but I'm getting angry now when I drink. I really start hating people and want revenge on whoever has been following me. Hell, I don't even know who I'm angry with anymore. I'm just not sure what is going on. I think my overall personality has changed. At this point, I'm discouraged. Alcoholism is Hell, and my delusions and paranoia are so frustrating. Alcohol helps me "forget about it " (lol, just reminded me of the Italian mobsters -forget about it...they say that a lot, lol). Don't know where that came all.

    I know I need to work and go to school. I need to exercise. I need to learn to be happy...everyday. I really wish I had ADHD meds. Anyway, I TRULY know these things, and I'm beginning to try to get better. My point is...I feel stuck. I sleep in order to make it through the day. Then I drink a few or more beers to make it through the night. I don't think there is a cure . I'm not suicidal, but I'm not very hopeful sometimes. People don't know how I think. I don't tell them, because it causes arguments. I wish I could remember what I was about to say in order to end this... so aggravating.

    Are my delusions the problem or the alcohol? Most AA members would say the alcohol is the source of the problem. Doctors might say the opposite. I say the delusions are a problem, and the alcoholism is ruining my life even if it does help temporarily.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 13, 2014
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would say both are the problems you have a dual diagnosis hun your addiction and your mental health they go together and you need to have them both treated together
  3. Forget2Trust

    Forget2Trust Active Member

    That sounds about right. Difficult without insurance. It's just too expensive.
  4. Forget2Trust

    Forget2Trust Active Member

    I meant I need to learn on a daily basis in order to be happy. I believe intelligence ,knowledge and learning are part of the foundation of happiness. Reaching one's potential is true happiness. Didn't mean I need to learn how to be happy. Already know how to accomplish that. I guess, I just need ADHD meds....
  5. Forget2Trust

    Forget2Trust Active Member

    *Intelligence, knowledge, and WISDOM*
  6. redrobin62

    redrobin62 Active Member

    Boy, you sound like me - sleep all day, drink all night. I did that for years and have a pot belly to show for it. I'm also dual diagnosis - PTSD/depression/anxiety and drug & alcohol abuse. I'm in outpatient therapy now, made possible because DSHS says I'm disabled and put me on Medicaid. I mean, I'm facing homelessness anyway, but with DSHS at least the inevitable was prolonged for a few months.
  7. BernardFoster

    BernardFoster Active Member

    I was hospitalize countless time , we have the same problem.. i did spend most of my life together with alcohol. but due to my last hospitalization that is very serious , i was closely monitored on my alcohol intake.. i realize i dont want to die.. i want to live
  8. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Technically, the very root of your problem is neither. There's a reason you're having delusions, and maybe suffering from depression (from what it sounds like), and that's why you drink. Both of those are obviously problems, and like someone else said should be treated at the same time, but the root of the problem is something else that's either going on in your life right now, or something that happened in your past. And the only way to start fixing it is to find out what exactly is causing you to feel the way you feel and start changing it. Once you start changing it, you won't feel the need to drink. You said you don't have any medical insurance...could you possibly get welfare insurance? Or if not, then maybe just start looking into your problems on your own. Really think back to your past and why you are the way you are. There are self-help materials you could get online or from a bookstore. Also, even though alcoholism isn't the direct cause of your problems, it would still probably be beneficial to you to try going to AA meetings. I'm a heroin addict and I used to go to NA all the time, and even though drug use wasn't the main cause of what was wrong with me either, it still helped me a bit at the time. I had something to do during the day for one, instead of just sitting in my room all day doing nothing, and I started being more social and meeting people and going places. And it helped me feel less depressed for the time being.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.