In my head - all i can hear is - "CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT" It's not helped by the fact i have had alcohol tonight, which considering the fact i rarely drink (in order to maintain control over my depression and SH thoughts) and the fact i have awful family history in regards to alcohol, is a very bad thing. I definately feel i could succumb to alcoholism very easily which is why i steer clear of the stuff as much as i can! But sometimes i just don't care, and after one drink i figure what more could 5 more do really?! But for those that have never had a alcoholic drink before - it does make a difference, even one. Alcohol is the devil's drink. I've already done myself damage, there is not much else i can do in regards to that. I should have tried the 'put off 5 minutes policy' but alcohol makes you disregard all common sense. And I just don't care!!!!!!!