I think I might be developing a problem with alcohol. I've always had a problem with drinking far too much on the occasions when I did drink, but I always put that down to a macho trying-to-impress-girls thing (though it actually had the opposite effect) but for the past few months I've been drinking pretty much every day, and some days in the morning. Not to have fun but to calm me down. And I've been hiding a flask of whisky under the bed. I hadn't drunk anything for a couple of days until tonight, and I felt dreadful. Now I really really want another drink... Maybe I'm still hung up on the whole drinking makes me look tough thing, and people will think I'm a wuss if I don't get slaughted every night at my age. I have an alcohol problem don't I? Damn it.