Alcohol usage getting out of control.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Endlessagony, Aug 12, 2010.

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  1. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    So for the last 3-4 weeks I've been drinking every night. Not just a beer or two but at least a 6-pack, every single night. On weekends (and a few occasions weekdays too) I've drank like at least three times that. I'm getting worried here as every day I say to myself tonight I won't have anything and yet I end up buying beer. Heck I'm drunk right now as I type this.

    A couple of days I've had pretty bad panic attacks and I medicated them with beer. I've been through the whole psychiatric treatment of people here and it didn't get me riveted to seek out it's help again.

    I know I can cut through this fairly easily if I have the faith. It's just that I'm pretty low on it right now. I get these sensations that everyone around me hates me, even strangers on the internet. These states of fear are nothing new and I had them long before I had any sort of substance abuse. Now things just took on a whole new level with the collapse of the most important thing to me in the world, the relationship with my partner of 8 years.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry about your breakup, I know how painful that can be..
    the grief of losing a partner will take time to heal.

    I can understand you using alcohol to self medicate but I don't think it's a good idea..
    Alcohol is a depressant and will most likely make you feel even more down..
    Maybe talking to your doctor and getting meds would be a better alternative...
    Take care
  3. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    Yeah I know all those things but alcohol is actually the only thing right now that makes me feel good. After a couple of beers everything just seems so much better, it doesn't accentuate my bad emotions. It honestly gives me calmness like none of the meds could give me, even though I have to pay the price of a hangover and lowered serotonin levels next day.
  4. rosebud

    rosebud Member

    Go to AA. you will meet new people, make new friends, not be alone, and will get help with your drinking. You will find a place where you can share your feelings without judgement and find others in the exact same situation. Give it a try.
  5. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Ya I've never understood the whole - "alcohol is a depressant". I know technically thats true, but its never made me more depressed, the exact opposite in fact.

    Still, that is awful lot of booze to be drinking. Aside from the mental toll, which may or may not be true in this case, you must suffering a pretty severe physical toll. Give your body a break, or it will come back to bite you big time.
  6. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    There is no AA where I live, as far as I know the only thing you can get here is more drugs to help you.
    That being said I've been doing a bit better lately, I've managed to stop drinking every night and limited it to weekends. Though today I got some pretty crushing news and it's sent me spiraling out of control again. Here's to beer nr 18 today!
  7. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I know people who have gone to AA for awhile before they stopped drinking. There are online meetings and you don't have to talk.

    I used alcohol to medicate myself too.

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