So for the last 3-4 weeks I've been drinking every night. Not just a beer or two but at least a 6-pack, every single night. On weekends (and a few occasions weekdays too) I've drank like at least three times that. I'm getting worried here as every day I say to myself tonight I won't have anything and yet I end up buying beer. Heck I'm drunk right now as I type this. A couple of days I've had pretty bad panic attacks and I medicated them with beer. I've been through the whole psychiatric treatment of people here and it didn't get me riveted to seek out it's help again. I know I can cut through this fairly easily if I have the faith. It's just that I'm pretty low on it right now. I get these sensations that everyone around me hates me, even strangers on the internet. These states of fear are nothing new and I had them long before I had any sort of substance abuse. Now things just took on a whole new level with the collapse of the most important thing to me in the world, the relationship with my partner of 8 years.