I just need to get this out of my system. I am an alcoholic. I deny it so much. My friends see it. They look at me. They joke about i t. They even took a public vote on it once. I appealed to my best friend and even he agreed. I thought he was betraying me but now I think he just meant to tell me that he knew the truth. It is the truth. I can't stop. I went a whole week without drinking from the 5th to 12th (my 19th birthday). On the fifth i went to this party at this guy's house. I barely knew him. Anywway, we were playing this drinking game where we had cards and had to make things out of them. I was so funny people kept voting for me to drink. SO i did. I drank so much. In addition to the predrinking where i had a shot of jiu and various mixed drinks that people had made for me, i had 4 shots of vgodka in less than5 minutse. Anywy this made me black out (i ama lightweight i weigh 112 lbs because i can't affor to eat properly) and they carried me to his washrroom where i vomited all over it. I puked on myself, too. So my best friend took my clothes. I don't really remember much of this but apparently i was speaking german and told him about my plan t kill myself. So i woke up on this guys couch wondering where my clothes were. My liver hurt for the first 2 days or so but it got much better. I think i have some sort of circulation problems or something because i was feeling numbness in my fingter when i drank the jiu. vAnd for days afterwards too. So i stopped drinking until my birthday when I went out. Now i have started again and got a $800 tax refund and i spent $100 on liquor for the weekend and i really need to stop I am so miserabgle Sorry for burdening everyone with this but i just wanted to get it out there.