I hae been free of most drugs and alcohol since I was with my fiance, he gave me an ultimatum of him or the addictions. I chose him. but when he died I turned back to the addictions I couldnt handle being with out him. I stayed off the dop however because I knew it was messing with me and causing my psychosis, how ever I never told anyone how it was affecting me and my brother is now trying to get me back on it, and he wont leave me alone, its frustrating that all he thinks about is himself, he doesnt care that i was very unwell when i was on it. I have been of the alcohol since i was 17 and I have recently started drinking again, although I know I shouldnt because I am on so many different meds, honestly I dont really care if it hurts me in anyway, because at least it means I am human. I have been off of the pain killers for five months now, even when I broke my arm I didnt take any. But I am now on a different pain killer which I need to be on for the stomach pain, I just hope that I dont start using them like I did the others. I just want to be drug and alcohol free. I started drinking when I was 12, and even when I was at school I was drinking and smoking, spent more time in the counsellors office than in class, which I didnt really mind at all. Anyway I am outta here for a while.