Alive

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by rachypooh, Aug 26, 2006.

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  1. rachypooh

    rachypooh Well-Known Member

    I hae been free of most drugs and alcohol since I was with my fiance, he gave me an ultimatum of him or the addictions. I chose him. but when he died I turned back to the addictions I couldnt handle being with out him. I stayed off the dop however because I knew it was messing with me and causing my psychosis, how ever I never told anyone how it was affecting me and my brother is now trying to get me back on it, and he wont leave me alone, its frustrating that all he thinks about is himself, he doesnt care that i was very unwell when i was on it. I have been of the alcohol since i was 17 and I have recently started drinking again, although I know I shouldnt because I am on so many different meds, honestly I dont really care if it hurts me in anyway, because at least it means I am human. I have been off of the pain killers for five months now, even when I broke my arm I didnt take any. But I am now on a different pain killer which I need to be on for the stomach pain, I just hope that I dont start using them like I did the others. I just want to be drug and alcohol free.
    I started drinking when I was 12, and even when I was at school I was drinking and smoking, spent more time in the counsellors office than in class, which I didnt really mind at all. Anyway I am outta here for a while.
     
  2. Montage

    Montage Well-Known Member

    im very sorry for your loss.... im also sorry for your addiction problems... my best advice, and trust me i know how you are feeling, get into a program.. its the only thing that worked for me. have a group you have to account too is awesome, it works... meetings are great because you see you are not alone and so many other are trying to stay clean, it isnt easy... Lord knows, it isnt easy... one of the hardest things you might ever do... and as so many counslers have told me, once an addict always an addict... in other words.. if you were an alcoholic, stopped drinking for 30 years.... youd still be an alcoholic.. thats why its so important not to go back.. to think, this one time and it will be ok.... if you need help finding programs in your area, id be more than happy to help...
     
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