All Aboard - explicit language

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by yesterdaytodaytomorrow, Nov 27, 2007.

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  1. All aboard

    Jostled, bound, by tongue and teeth,
    Lay restless under foot;
    Those heavy boots of leaded steel,
    Seem lighter than they should.
    No soul to enter, through the gates,
    As she leaves every step, without shoes;
    Relentless banging inside this cage,
    Reminds me of what I should do.
    Corrupted life, of less than who,
    This chariot should hold;
    A wavered sense of longing for,
    Who everyone else has sold.
    Deafened by these silent thoughts,
    The shadows looming, blamed;
    For breaking me you fucking ****s
    And leaving me cloaked in your shame.
    A surface of sterile perfection,
    No human touch, to twist this heart;
    In fact the loneliness seems so usual,
    It has been with me, right from the start.
  2. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    I liked it. & I believe it is very good..... as well I was drawn by your warning-which I feel was unnessesary..... :unsure: though on a forum like this, even a small spark can start a fire(believe me I should know). So I rate your work:


    Good Job!
  3. ish_me153

    ish_me153 Well-Known Member

    it's a good poem, and i can so relate in numerous ways. i give it a 10/10 :tongue:
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