All alone now

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pioneer, Apr 22, 2008.

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  1. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    OK so now I am completely alone now. I moved to a new city, got my own apartment, no one checks up on me, and I am lightweight suicidal. I stop seeing my therapist weeks ago, waste of time. I have decided that I will end my life in just a year or so after I pay back a loan so my mother doesn't have to pay. During the time before my death I will become the absolutely best young man I could be by my own standards. So no acting like a gangbanger, flashy jewelry or clothes, and doing drugs. I never did that stuff but never fit in because I didn't do it. So I'll be as educated as I can before I die because thats what I want. This world isn't right for my type of person.
     
  2. seventyxseven

    seventyxseven Member

    It is things like this that make me the saddest of all. You sound like such a well rounded, level headed guy who just can't handle all the shit that life throws out, a sensitive soul like myself. It really is a shame that someone so kind and thoughtful like you can't find a reason to stick around. I am, however, glad that you're giving yourself time. Who knows what could happen in a year? Please, please don't give in just yet. In this year keep searching for a something that makes you want to stay, even if it is just a tiny thread of hope to hang on to.
     
  3. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    The future seems absolutely hopeless. My country, U.S.A., is getting all f**** up with dumb presidents, biased media, paranoid parents, and we still haven't gotten rid of racism and prejudice. We're loosing our rights, fighting a stupid war that shouldn't have started, being controlled by the media, and my own race, blacks, are going to the s***-hole. I love my won people but they are ignorant and stupid mostly. Its not really their fault either because the government has alot to do with it. I feel alone in every way imaginable.
     
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