OK so now I am completely alone now. I moved to a new city, got my own apartment, no one checks up on me, and I am lightweight suicidal. I stop seeing my therapist weeks ago, waste of time. I have decided that I will end my life in just a year or so after I pay back a loan so my mother doesn't have to pay. During the time before my death I will become the absolutely best young man I could be by my own standards. So no acting like a gangbanger, flashy jewelry or clothes, and doing drugs. I never did that stuff but never fit in because I didn't do it. So I'll be as educated as I can before I die because thats what I want. This world isn't right for my type of person.