I've been self harming for years but for about six months now its just gotten worse and worse to the point where I want to die. I've tried getting help form the people around me and talking about the things that are making me feel bad but people around me, it seems, have given up on me. When I'm in a bad place they ignore me till it seems like its passed so I've been trying so hard to act like everything is fine but its really really not. All in all its not like my life is that horrible, it's just so many small things piling up and it just gets so heavy it's like I can't move. Some days I can barely convince myself to get out of bed. It's not that I want to commit suicide, it's more that I want all the pain to stop and dying seems the way to go in my mind because I don't really think anyone would miss me. I think they'd all be happy to see me go and not have me burdening them and bringing them down. I have no one to talk to and that's making everything worse, all I want is to believe that maybe someone actually wants me, that I actually matter, but one of the people closest to me has even said that I'm replaceable. If I ask for help they tell me to go somewhere else. I just can't take how heavy all this stuff is, I can't handle it alone and I just want it to stop.