I feel i need to apologize to those ive let down. Friends on this site, and people I care about, people i just havent been there for. This is no order, just enters my head. Im sorry to those people ive missed, this isnt about that, its just thoughts that are with me right now. Kells - sorry for being so absent minded. I hope you find some peace one day, your mind at ease. You deserve that, you really do. The pills i know you wont stop on my account, i know you feel you need them right now. I understand. I care for you Kelly, although I can never be the one. Please take care of yourself. Your worth so much more than you realise. One day I hope you will see. Est - what happened I dont know. We were close once. I know you have someone special now and thats fantastic. I trully hope you can be with her again. You often said it doesnt matter if we never talk, we will always share a special bond. I hope thats the case. I still care for you, but for some reason i cant approach you anymore. Please take care of yourself, you have so much to offer the world. You will always be there, please take care of yourself Robin - mate Theres something about you. I just know if i was in the U.K we would be the best of mates. I just know it. Your such a sincere and caring person. So many people absolutely lost without you. The world is so much better for you in it. Care about you mate, maybe one day we will talk again. Please stay strong, try and stay awake Im sorry i cant be there. Terry - they broke the mold with you, absolutely no doubt. God if we could all have the spirit you have. Your an inspirational person. I feel for you, you deserve so much more. I hope one day the fog lifts and you can start living again. Love you Terry. Shauna - Dont give up. Its never too late. Follow your dreams and to hell with the consequences. Nothing to loose, just the regret of not doing it another 10 years from now. Whatever you do in life, I know you will succeed. I hope it works out with you and Ben. Please stay strong. Everything will come together one day. :hug: Sarah - So much stuff to go through at such a young age. I dont know if its true what you said about the gun, but if it is, please get rid of it. Hang in there ok, you will make it. Just keep waking up everyday, and keep breathing. One day it will turn, and things will look so much brighter. Caz - A lot of water under bridge between us. I know you have Liam now, I trully hope you guys can get together. Youve had more than your fair share of problems in your life. I hope it will work out, if its meant to be, it will be. Stay strong, keep fighting, youve been through so much, theres no reason to stop now. :hug: Wendy - Sorry i haven't contacted you much. We dont talk so much these days, i know your very busy with the kids and so on. Sorry to be drinking too much. Like father, like son as they say. Dont know if you still want to see me one day, dont know if ill ever make it. :hug: please take care. Mars - I can never say what I want to say. Im so sorry for making things difficult, for things ive done, things ive said. I would give anything to be that person in your life, but i cant, and you cant. So much emotion, so much love to give. If I was born at a different place and different time. If you saw the person I see, and if somehow I would be lucky enough for you to feel that way about me again...but I know it cant be. Im just making things worse. I know you love him. I accept that. Whether it works or it doesnt. I just want you to be happy. I search everything inside me, and the answer is always the same. I love you, I love you, I love you. Im sorry. tears are bad now. Its pathetic, whats wrong with me. So much emotion. Years and years of struggle, its too much. Love you all. Take care of yourselves.